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Excerpt from Carpaccio by Lily Childs
Published on Thrillers Killers 'n' Chillers March 2010
I prepared a new entry for tonight. A eulogy.
I didn’t usually record the times and dates of their deaths because that made it kind of final. I liked the idea that the agony would go on forever.
Some of them I held onto for weeks, a couple of months even. Kevin and Peter only lasted half a day each. That was my fault, I couldn’t leave them alone.
***
I liked to hang around the fairground. It visited our seaside town two, three times a year; just about the only thrill we had in our genteel haven of beaches and blue rinse.
I imagined how it would be to work there. The rides, the slot machines. I’d be one of the cocky boys on Waltzers who’d steal your money as soon as screw you in the bushes.
***
My first was Jean-Paul. I was only thirteen, a late starter. Jean-Paul captured my attention and I felt this need, this desire to possess him, care for him. For him to love me back. I relished his sinewy moves, the lazy slant of his lingering eye as he moved past me – one time, two times, three times, more.
"Jean-Paul" I whispered.
