November's word was TOXIC.
These were my entries:
TOXIC HEADI’m grasping, grasping...
Grasping at details and the banister and snippets of music as I hurl myself up the stairs to fall through the bathroom door to hurl and hurl again down the filthy bog before lying, shivering on the cold tiled floor.
Pills, you give me pills and I’m up and I’m HAPPY and I can’t stop dancing and kissing and loving you, and you, and you.
Ah, the beat – it’s Joy Division and I’m Ian Curtis and I can move like him but I don’t want to die, not today, I don’t want to die. And I cry, tears are desperate, begging for love and attention and... I need the toilet.
I’m back on the floor and the cramps hurt real bad and there’s only one thing that can stop all this hurt – and it’s you, yes it’s you with your bag of bad deeds and your needles and foil and I don’t want to go there but I can’t go back down and I look at your skirt and your legs and your lips and I’m lost. Nearly lost.
You’re dead on the bed.
My gut spills.
I steal your bliss in a bag. Call the cops.
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BORROWED TIME
Red lorry, yellow lorry.
Great, humongous grey lorry
lying in the street
spilling chemicals like sweets.
Dead dolly, headless dolly.
Pink and broken flat dolly
lying in the street
melting slowly in the heat.
Ripe body, rotten body.
Killed by poison, burst body
lying in the street
decomposing, rancid meat.
You’re sorry, I’m so sorry.
Too late now we’re all sorry,
lying in the street
we’ve been lying through our teeth.
Mother Earth concedes defeat.
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