February 18th
This second piece of prose from Asuqi perfectly demonstrates her art. She has a unique attitude, studded with astute observation and delivery.
Betrayed thunders through the subject of abuse, at the heart of which is a little Alice lost and ever on the escape yet trapped by affection and loyalty.
For me there's a 1950s feel to Betrayed with deliberate exclamations to contradict the tragedy; unnerving as Sylvia Plath poetry.
Enter the maze; may you follow your own path...
Betrayed by Asuqi
This is a confined space, too narrow to live in or like, but it’s what I’ve got left and in a way, I suppose it suits me.
I lost myself in a labyrinth, the pretty one, in our vast garden. My sisters were snatched away from our lovely childhood by a monster too abhorrent to speak of. Me, I chose the maze.
Try chasing me here! Try finding me! I’m lost, I’m lost, impossible to find!
I spent these long years ensuring the labyrinth’s utter complexity. I recreated the paths, reorganized the hedges. I made a science of intricacy.
I sometimes see my sisters cry, the monster’s shadow heavy on their chests. I turn to lightness then, bend myself backwards and spiral away – I only dance abstract pieces.
The laces I’m wrapped in are my mother’s from a lifetime ago, I think the monster wanted me in them, but I can’t discard them, freedom is not mine to take.
Oh my God! He came for me! Last night in my dreams! Soft brown eyes, wine-scented kisses and his treacherous hands fumbling under my layers of lace.
My heart and my thoughts fluttered endlessly then, like the delicate membranes of a butterfly.
"Someone ought to have saved you," you say, your eyes a glacial sincerity. "Someone should have come for you!"
But there’s no one left, you see! And the softness in my eyes is as brown as his. We’re two of a kind, and this is what holds me secured more than anything; his body so close to mine, our minds entwined, the horrors he performed - are they the tales of my soul?
So I stay here, trapped, between him and myself. If you hear me scream, please go away, if I plead just leave! I´m ruined beyond salvation and if you come from a place of light, your heart pure and sweet, just forget about me, for I will turn my face to you, and I cannot promise my smile won´t be his.
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Please accept me as Asuqi. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. So I go about searching for near-life experiences. I know them when they hit me, they tickle my brain. I only have questions, I am Jack's complete lack of certainty. Yes; "Fight Club". Always.
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*bows*
ReplyDeleteMadam Asuqi, I shall see you at the other end of the maze. You know the one.
That was utterly enthralling, and I'm horrified at what is left unsaid. You have great command of these words asuqi. So well done.
ReplyDeleteA dark and heartbreaking tale that had me from start to finish. A very well written story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. It made me think of Beauty and the Beast, and how we all have a bit of both inside us. One of my favourites so far.
ReplyDeleteAsuqi, delicate yet strong, heart rending and enchanting at the same time. The maze, oh yes ...
ReplyDeleteA heartbreaking tale that did not need to describe the abuse for the reader to feel her pain. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteA gorgeous write- loved the voice and theme of this piece, and a chilling ending.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Asuqi!
Lily, you stun me! I´m going to go about pretending I´m Sylvia Plath all day long =)
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for your lovely comments! And Lou, gee...Thanks...
Chilling, heartbreaking, and exquisitely written. I loved this line - "I only dance abstract pieces."
ReplyDeleteThere is a seed of evil implanted with abuse. Depending on the soil of the child's heart, depending on the weather and the one who sows and cares for that seed of evil, it grows into the heart to the point where uprooting it will kill the child. Options are limited. The story is brilliantly told and sadly, so true. There are choices, but to the victim, they are impossible to see. Your story reminded me of one of my favorite dark music videos called Labyrinth by Oomph.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3lndvRhS_M
This is beautifully written, with the right balance of sadness and darkness and tragedy, and neatly captures the dark side of human nature.
ReplyDeleteThis is so well written Asuqi. Very impressive.
ReplyDeleteThe story is heart breaking and horrific but sadly, as someone else mentioned, so true.
The end was interesting and I like how you portrayed the cyclic nature of abuse through her smile being like his.
You handled a difficult subject very well.