The other most important thing about Friday is of course, it's time for another Prediction. Last week's were a wildly eclectic bag - loved them! AJ Humpage's terrifying recounting of murder in the name of justice, A Bad Colour was the winning entry, with Scratchypen's Patience a mean-monstered runner-up. Well done both.
Here, for your creative genius are this week's words :
- Inhuman
- Papyrus
- Dart
Rules:
Winner will be announced next Thursday or Friday. If you can, please tweet about your entry, using the #fridayflash hashtag, and blog if you feel like it.
I wonder who'll be first past the post this week?
_____________________________________
I'm finally giving this a go! Here is my 'offering':
ReplyDeletePaper Cuts
The paper was the smoothest I had made, its texture crisp and clean. I ran my hands across its satin surface and felt the faint thrill of arousal - there had been something erotic about listening to his death-cries and I could still feel every cut of the butcher’s knife as I’d torn hide from limb, performing the inhuman task.
I should have killed him first, but the price of a dart was too great. Profit was the most important consideration and Papyrus was a thing of the past. Human flesh would serve me just as well.
Hello Ellie. Lovely to hear from one of our upcoming Femmes Fatales. And what an entrance!
ReplyDeletePaper Cuts is right up my back-alley. This is a lovely peek into the mind of a murderous scribe. You've evoked tremulous emotions and the darkest of visions. I love it!
Ooh indeed, why suffer papyrus when one can have human vellum! And what words will the murderous scribe find worthy enough to share his smooth creation, I wonder.
ReplyDeleteAn excellent offering Ellie, can't wait to read your Fatale contribution.
:0)
Jealous Gods
ReplyDeleteFinger darting over papyrus scrap, his own blood as ink. Inhuman cries from down the hallway. He knew that he would be next.
He tied the note to a stone with a piece of his robe, and hurled it through the high window, praying to the new god that somehow his warning would reach the Pharaoh Akhnaton. The priests of Amun-Ra would strike soon.
The shrieking down the hall eventually stopped. A man in a gilded animal mask came into the room, throwing the rock with the note to his captive.
"Your turn."
The old gods had won.
Hi, Ellie! That was a deliciously gory piece, with sensuous details. Yum.
ReplyDeleteMimi -- Ooh, I like it! Very evocative. And I'm kind of happy because I would just like to think of warmer climes right now, even if the gods are scouring the regime in bloody manner.
Mimi, wow. Jealous Gods is a riot of ancient magick and ritual worship. I love the feeling in this - you've summoned up dusty marbled hallways and hidden pillared temples lit by a million flames. Feels like I've gone home :)
ReplyDeleteLily-- A life in Ancient Egypt does stay with one, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteEllie - clever title! Human vellum, eh? Remind me not to stand too close to you.... ;-)
ReplyDeletemimi - yes, that conjured up images of temples and incantations - I could almost smell the incence!
And on a slightly similar theme...here you go!
Incanto
Peter had studied hieroglyphics well enough to know that the scrap of papyrus he held outlined instructions for the embalming of the dead but he had no chance to escape.
The innocent incantations of his earlier readings had already summoned the undead unknowingly into his presence and in terror his eyes darted this way and that as inhuman hands reached to prepare him for a final journey.
His piercing screams as the nasal probe bored upwards into his brain were lost in the labyrinthine cellars of the British Library.
Soon he would be yet another unknown and uncatalogued treasure.
What we must never forget about Sue is that she was the Library Queen. If she says the British Library was labyrinthine, then it truly was. Incanto is a vivid observation of the ancient chant, and demonstrates why the uninitiated should leave well alone. Poor Peter; Sue knows where he is - and she's not saying. ;)
ReplyDeleteDamn! I meant to write British 'Museum' (sorry Lily, old habits die hard....) Still, let's say this was set twenty years ago, when the two buildings (British Library and British Museum) were still next to each other near Russell Square. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHere goes with my offering this week. The words have fed my obsession with Hellenic classicism.
ReplyDeleteTrophy
Parched skin like papyrus and words scrawled in ruddy, dried blood like dark cancerous lines stretched across the flesh - the bilious torrent of an inhuman hand.
Untangled hair formed a dark halo; the grey dust of battle coated his beard. Once dark eyes were now cold and soulless and open, but could not blink.
A stench darted across the field of disjointed arms and legs, razed by a glorious sun.
A dead Spartan king lay among arrows that had blotted out the sun. The Immortals waited like salivating dogs to tear at his naked flesh.
A prized Persian trophy.
Great minds think alike!
ReplyDeleteEllie - As a "Prediction" Debut - this rocks. Love the imagery of the human parchment, but the sick part of me really wants to know what she's going to write.
Mimi Every time I hear "old gods" I think of Lovecraft, which gave this an additional creepy layer, and made me think of how ridiculously awesome this would be as a larger story. Great job.
Sue This is a wonderful take on the mummy story. Not only are they coming for him, but they're mummifying him alive. That's real nightmare fodder there.
As I was saying... took a similar tack, but maybe a wee little bit less spooky:
ReplyDeleteYou are so fired
Smythe darted towards the crypt. He skidded on a layer of sand and fell, sprawling on the ancient floor.
Aja gave him a bemused grin, "What the hell are you doing?"
Scrambling to his feet, Smythe's eyes found the papyrus scroll being held flat by Aja's lantern. The blood rushed out of his face.
"Were you reading this?" His voice was cracked with sand and terror.
"Yes," said Aja, "It's remarkably..."
"Aloud?" shouted Smythe, cutting her off.
"I suppose, but... "
A deep, inhuman groan shook the crypt. Dust rained down. Somewhere close, massive stones began grinding together.
"Oh."
"Shit."
Tribute
ReplyDeleteSkin like papyrus rasps against mine. I would close my eyes if I could. He slithers, scents me, savors tiny sounds I can’t suppress. I shiver, but remain, a sacrifice required for another year of food for the town’s children. Children I will never have.
My corruption began when he entered the room. It compounds when he enters me, a sharp dart in a dark place. I bleed as I was meant to. His skin warms, softens.
“Inhuman, that’s what it is,” a witness whispers. She means inhumane, but speaks the truth.
He isn’t human.
And now, neither am I.
The World in Flames
ReplyDeleteCapt. Necrosis stepped through the flaming gas curtain. “You'll burn faster than Boy Scout juice.”
“You can't vanquish me.” Papyrus Man's voice an inhuman rasp as he avoided the flickering windows.
“Some things are more powerful than legal writs.”
Sweat smeared Papyrus's skin. “I can write my way out of this.” Sheafs of paper flew erupting into flame when one sheet brushed a window.
“Able to paper tall buildings in a single night.”
“That's not my theme song.”
Necrosis darted across the room to throttle the superhero's throat. Newsprint smudged. “It will be when I finish with you.” He chortled.
Ellie: love the title you've added here; you capture the beauty of high quality pape with sheen and then make me feel guilty about that. Love it.
ReplyDeleteMimi: love your parthenon here and the timeliness of the piece. Especially like the use of paper tied to the rock with bits of robe... wonderfully evocative.
SueH: Nice twist on the naive demon summoner. "Nasal probe" makes me shiver with horror.
AJ: great opening image "Parched skin like papyrus and words scrawled in ruddy, dried blood"; the images you choose do a nice job to capture the aftermath of war.
Chris: love Aja's clueless bumbling. This has a nice touch of humor.
Melenka: beautiful mythos you touch on here; love the understatedness of "a sharp dart in a dark place"
wow! I thought the words were interesting this week, (still working on mine) but you have already excelled yourselves, peeps!
ReplyDeleteEllie, imagery again, you do it so well! this is clever and sharp, like a dart...
Mimi, wanted to know more, more ... an incomplete story, write the rest of it!
SueH, a chilling piece
AJ, another sharply observed piece of writing that was a delight to read
Chris, good one, enjoyed it
Melenka, a deep piece of writing, more to it than meets the eye, leaves thoughts behind as good writing does.
OK, I have to go do things, but I am thinking on my entry for this week. It will be there, I promise!
Ellie - Stunningly creepy, but what stuck with me was the concern for economic cost that made her leave him alive. There's something even more wrong about that.
ReplyDeleteMimi - I was cheering for the prisoner, so the last bit slapped me hard. I loved it.
Sue - I was temporarily paralyzed and have been allowed to explore the basement of the Field Museum in Chicago. Your story brought both of those things back full force and scared the crap out of me.
AJ - That was a painting, the sort I would stare at for hours until all the details were imprinted in my mind.
Chris - As desperate as Smythe was, I felt the whole thing played out in slow motion, a desperate hope just a bit too late.
Aidan - I love this take on superheroes, and that the villain is apparently winning. I think he should once in a while, or we wouldn't fear villains.
OK, after much deliberation, here goes ...
ReplyDeleteKnow-all
‘Did we get the word paper from pappy-rus?’
‘You mean pap-y-rus, don’t you?’
‘Don’t be pedantic.’ But the words are a dart.
‘I would assume so.’ Why is he so inhuman? Is there blood in his veins, or ice?
He looks over the top of his glasses. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘Doesn’t matter.’ I shall keep thoughts to myself in future. Why share with someone who does not care?
He will, when the knife slices through his throat and I find out whether there is blood or ice in his veins. When he utters one put down too many.
Alluring words this week, Lily! Here´s my take:
ReplyDeleteI Can Make Them Come Alive
They dart across the table, in all possible directions. It looks like actual fleeing and my skin prickle, but I know they have no instincts -- their movements cannot be intentional.
I put down my tools, no more metallic bugs for me tonight.
”I wish you´d quit makin´ them,” Jackie says, lips quivering. ”Sometimes I hear them inside the walls.”
I love her; papyrus skin and horse-mane hair, she´s my reason and my contradiction.
”It´s… inhuman,” she continues, and it´s a funny remark coming from something like her.
”Come to bed,” I say and she smiles. She can´t refuse me.
Ellie: Great entry! Creepy in a detached way that fits the character´s immoral attitude so well.
ReplyDeleteMimi: Ancient Egypt – yay! I used to read a lot about Achnaton, I find it fascinating; the way he was able to swop gods and build a whole new capital in honour of his new god. Your piece is great – I was instantly brought to Achet-Aton/ Tel el-Amarna ;)
Sue: Awesome! I´m sure this could happen. I´m sure it has happened! Corker last line!
AJ: Superb imagery!
Chris: Great take on the mummy theme! Lots of fun Indiana Jones atmosphere here!
Melenka: Wow! Two of my favourite ingredients: sacrifice and submission. And what a beautifully crafted piece!
Aidan: I can´t decide whether this is meant to be a superhero fight or a description of how horrifically realistic playing can seem to children. Either way, it´s an entertaining and well written piece!
Antonia: That´s one insanely touchy character! Makes me remember I´m always to treat everyone nicely…
Well Lily these words were simply just too juicy!
ReplyDeleteI woke up with them on my brain and just had a fantastic start to Sunday morning in bed with tea and laptop!
They made me think of palaeography & Senate House (Uni of London library). So I knocked this out but I'm afraid I went WAY over the word count but thought I would post it anyways.
Hope I'm forgiven? :0)
Snatch
She squatted in the darkness and waited for the echo of the guard’s footsteps to fade. Silence fell and Martha, pulling a torch from her handbag, left the cubicle. A silver thread of watery moonlight trickled through a small skylight as she made her way through the towers of books. Her senses were tickled by the musty sweet smell of old and her stomach flipped with excitement. Months of planning came down to this moment; she would have to grab and dart.
Finally, she entered a room at the end of a long hallway. Holding her breath and shivering at the drop in temperature, she flicked on the torch. The ancient tome held centre stage. Papyrus sheaves now brittle, its Syriac scrawls still retained their power to summon the most inhuman creatures. Trills of anticipation wafted over her and she sighed as she lifted the glass case. Tears filled her eyes and she clutched the tome to her chest, dizzy with awe.
There was a dull thud behind her and Martha froze. Something scuttled over her foot but she kept her eyes pinched shut. Blood rushed through her head and she hunched protectively over the tome. A gush of warm air kissed her skin, brushed over her hair.
And then as quickly as it started, it stopped and Martha smiled; pleased and accepted.
not sure what Lily will say but oh, that was worth sending in, over the word count or not! and ... what ... where ... how ... you leave us tantalised!
ReplyDeleteAsuqi, an invitation that cannot be refused, for sure! Delicate as always, with punch.
Thanks Antonia! I'll have to come back and comment on the others, although I've caught up on the fatale stories now! All fabulous, as are the predictions as always.
ReplyDeleteThis site is becoming increasingly addictive!
:0)
Sorry to have abandoned everyone for a day!
ReplyDeleteAJ, there is so much action and motion in Trophy yet I felt as though I was observing a battle of statues, lying in a highly-scented post-carnage mist. I was drawn back to "Untangled hair formed a dark halo" again and again. Brilliantly evocative.
Chris, you really hit the terror spot when the "massive stones began grinding together." That's what nightmares are made of.
Melenka, Tribute is a beautifully written account of ancient ritual from the virgin's perspective. I ask myself what she becomes, and whether she carries something - not a child - within. Stunning, I loved it.
Aidan, what a brilliant take on the words. You always surprise me. This is an excellent super-hero comic - I want to see it illustrated. Anyone?
Antonia, he deserves everything he gets! Some people are so controlling. You captured the insensitivity and inner rage so well here.
Asuqi, your title alone made my flesh spangle with trepidation. Spiderous creatures and robotic (?) lovers - absolutely superb. The implication in "something like her" is terrific. Really different, I loved it.
Here's mine:
ReplyDeleteMarried To The Job
Within this thin papyrus of skin my gut bubbled and fused. When the spider’s bite pierced like a dart I’d expected paralysis or agony beyond childbirth. Instead I watched, devoid of all feeling and with inhuman detachment as I became a medlar fruit, rotting and stinking inside.
An hour struck; three, twelve... I awoke, confused and found I could move. Corseted in deepest brown the empty excess flesh had squeezed out to hang and flap against my thighs.
The Bank of England called.
I lied.
I tucked my liabilities into a secret pocket and went to work in a skirt.
I'm so glad I finally found the courage to take part in this weekly writing contest - a long list of truly exceptional stories.
ReplyDeletemimimanderly - ink as blood. Delicious and dark, a story fit for the Gods.
Sue H - the last line was magnificant, and I could literally feel is terror as they embalmed him alive. Brilliant.
A J Humpage - I could smell the stench and the imaginery you evoked was simply stunning.
Chris - I loved the humouress touch to this, though I new the terror was just about to start. Brilliant.
Malenka - I expected this to end with her death but you cleverly turned this into a rebirth; into what we do not know. Genius.
Aiden - the villian wins for a change. I love the way you took the words and found a story so different to the others. Inspired.
Antonia - someone has been pushed too far. Is it wrong I want your character to get on and kill him? Title was perfect, too.
asqui - I love the science fiction angle here; the robotic creations and strange love. Very different.
Susan - I suspect this is over the word limit but it had me tantalised nevertheless.
Lily - a dark and sinister tale. What exactly hangs between his or her thighs? And what will 'it' do inside the Bank of England? You've left me wanting more.
It was going to be a dark comedy with Anubis and Thoth, but ended as ...
ReplyDeleteDead Pretty
Anubis laid the young pharaoh’s corpse gently on the papyrus mat. So young, so pretty, so much potential. He turned to his ceremonial tools, pulled the obsidian blade from its sheath, closed his eyes and whispered a prayer.
The point pierced the dead flesh like a dart and Anubis completed the incision in a single stroke. His inhuman features spread into a canine grin. He plunged his hand into the bloody morass and pulled out the boy’s heart. As he held it aloft, dark blood dribbled down his arms. He stifled a howl, such pleasure, such ecstasy, and still warm.
Antonia I suspect that's one version of a conversation heard across too many tables. Divorce would be his best choice, but one suspects he has no idea something is amiss.
ReplyDeleteasuqi The imagery is striking, and I like the alchemy/science connotations. I found the "relationship" implications both intriguing and disturbing.
Susan That wants to be a book, with all the hints and ideas you lay out. What brought Martha to this, and what happens next?
Lily I found the ordinary action at the end almost as creepy as the metamorphosis and wondered how she would even get through the day.
Scratchypen That's old school horror, and yet there was something so respectful about the whole thing that it presents as beautiful.
Susan - I do apologise, I waltzed straight past Snatch - how can that be? Must be what happens when you go so cheekily over the word limit!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI rather enjoyed Martha's obsessive journey to the magical tome; I agree it throws up so many questions. Where's the rest of the story Susan? I want it!!
Scratchypen, Dead Pretty is... dead pretty. Fabulous atmosphere and description, reminds me of The Hunger, and Miriam's origins. Loved that last line. Very well written.
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
ReplyDeleteAJ "...bilious torrent of an inhuman hand. " Love your imagery. This reads like the other view of "300". Great job.
Melenka Stories like this, that deal with the inevitability of the horror and suffering never fail to unsettle me. This time too. There's poetry in her suffering.
Aidan I love the bizarro flavour you bring to these tales. There's a fantastic energy that runs through the stories, this one included, that leaves a reader out of breath.
Antonia People have certainly been killed for less, but your ending leaves no doubt as to just desserts.
asuqi I love this. Please write more of this, and let us know where to find it.
Susan Forgiven indeed. This is a great tale. "Papyrus sheaves now brittle, its Syriac scrawls still retained their power to summon the most inhuman creatures." Nice detail.
Lily This one's right up there with your "dressing up box"- all skin, and malignant beauty. Quite enjoyed this.
Scratchypen This needed to be what it became. Such well chosen details. Anubis is a favourite.
Ellie – A dark little number just bulging with terror, especially as the victim was still alive…
ReplyDeleteMimi – I’ve travelled extensively around the land of the Coptics, and studied the subject intensely, and this piece has a magical, ethereal feel that takes you there.
Sue – Again, the feel of ancient Egypt comes through as the undead come to claim another member. Atmospheric and spooky, and nice title too.
Chris – Staying in the land of Coptics, the sense of trepidation is nicely conveyed and with a sense of humour too.
Melenka - Dark, moody, beautiful prose; all these convey this story so well.
Aiden – This made me smile, the way it toys with us – is this child’s play or for real?
Antonia – Straight to the point…with a knife…I felt a sense of cruelty in this piece.
Asuqi – Creepy and oozing with latent dread. ‘Something like her’ makes the imagination run riot.
Susan – Some lovely description within the narrative, this is nicely written.
Lily – Creepy, creepy, creepy…this makes you shiver. Perfect imagery and sentence structure.
Scratchy – This placed me right inside Karnak, the tone and atmosphere perfectly stoked. Lovely prose.
Antonia: I like the way you mix her thoughts in with the conversation. Really brings out how she takes it and colors it emotionally.
ReplyDeleteAsuqi: Lovely contribution, evil drips alluringly off of these characters. Love the description of papyrus skin and horse-mane hair.
Susan May: I enjoyed the sense of place and the tactile feelings of blood rushing and wind.
Lily: love the imagery in this piece and how well it captures the workaholic. I find that a particularly topical subject this week.
Scratchypen: love the title and words you used in Dead Pretty; it paints a truly dark picture of sacrifice.
Thanks for the comments everyone!
Scratchypen - the title was perfect and I loved the twist you gave to the Pharaohs tale. Dark and wicked!
ReplyDeleteI have to say - this has been one of the most enjoyable weeks for reading all the 'prediction' entries!
ReplyDeleteI've just been reading through the stories again and I'll need to refrain from commenting on each - or it'll be the next Friday Prediction before I've finished!
Suffice to say - there is so much talent showcased here, Lily, you could (should) produce your own book!!
Well done everyone!
A Prickly Issue
ReplyDeleteThe papyrus is stuck to the bed pole with a dart of sharp gray quill. I tear it down without reading its bloody message.
“Don’t you have anything better to write with?” I snap.
From the shadows beneath the bed, he says, “I would, if you would give me… give me…”
“Nothing! I give you nothing, much less a proper tool. Besides, how would you use it?”
He crawls out on all fours, shows me his paws, pads yet bleeding. His eyes plead.
“Inhuman,” I whisper cruelly to my spiny-skinned slave. I rip his valentine in two. Crossbreeds disgust me.
*
I should note that I thought of some porcupine/man creature when I wrote this. I guess having to explain myself means it's not such a great piece, LOL! Ah, well, I couldn't help it.
I'll be back to comment! A quick scan reveals a whole lot of "OMG OMG OMG!" I may be caps-locky. :-)
Rebecca, you didn't need to explain, it was all there and so delicately done, too. Such cruelty in one move, ripping the valentine in two like that. Oh yes ...
ReplyDeleteHi friends! Yes, I´m beginning to perceive you as friends -- that´s not me being weird, that´s you being nice =) Thanks for your kind comments!
ReplyDeleteSusan: Ah, Susan, I liked it but… You know, the word limit is part of the fun. It speaks to the masochistic parts of my brain -- don´t go about spoiling the fun =)
Lily: Weheeeird! In a very good way! Me likez! ”Instead I watched, devoid of all feeling and with inhuman detachment as I became a medlar fruit, rotting and stinking inside.” Yeees!
Scratchypen: Is it wrong of me to think this is kind of sexy? Probably. Still, it´s the way you describe Anubis´s experience when he performs his given task -- exquisite!
R.S.: Awesome! Like the dynamics in this relationship ;) Great title and LOVE this: ´“Inhuman,” I whisper cruelly to my spiny-skinned slave. I rip his valentine in two. Crossbreeds disgust me.´ So much delectable content here…
Sue - an antho of the Prediction entries? I can't deny I haven't considered it. There is so much extraordinary fiction and poetry on here. I dunno - what does everyone else think?
ReplyDeleteRebecca, hmmnn, those freakin' crossbreeds; they're always at you, constantly nagging and whining. I love this, and appreciated the porcupine/man explanation. Excellent!
Hi, guys! Whew. This week's was a breathless read. One of the best weeks ever for the Prediction. Er, because I've been around so long and know so... ;-)
ReplyDeleteSue—Nasal probe! Ew! And that was twisty, madam. Did not expect it. Love it!
AJ – I found this poignant and grand, both. If a king must die, let it be on the field of battle, and let him be torn to pieces by the Immortals.
Chris – I love hilarity coupled with impending doom. (how often do you hear that? LOL!) This was great, and I want to know what, exactly, arises…
Melenka – Yet another twisty one! I love being surprised, and you certainly shocked. Like Lily, I wonder what she is now, and what, if anything, will be born of this night. *shivers* The line “Inhuman, that’s what it is,” a witness whispers. She means inhumane, but speaks the truth. is beautiful.
Aidan – How I would love an honest peek into your mind. I’m not sure what I’d find there, but it would be extraordinary. And maybe delicious.
Antonia – What a jerk. I hope the knife is slightly dull, so it takes a while. She’ll have to sew him to the bedsheets first, but it’ll be worth it. You made me hate someone in 100 words or less!
Asuqi – Sometimes, I read something and get the most vivid image. I mean, it’s right there. I see it all. When I look to the author’s words again, I don’t see how they did it, how they made something so evocative! You astound me this way again and again. I love this. Also, just so you know, I think the narrator is a woman. Hm?
Susan – Ooh, interesting, though I must wonder… accepted by what? What sort of things take one like that?
Lily – My second “Ew!” of the day. You brought it, woman. Right from the beginning, with, “Within this thin papyrus of skin my gut bubbled and fused.” And then all the way through to guts hanging out and… Oh, dear. By the by, I’ve got plenty of spiders in my house, and they love to feast on me. Now I’m terrified of waking up… like that.
Scratchypen – Mm, warm heart. Best served with a little chocolate syrup, I’ve found. I love Anubis, my favorite of the gods.
Wehey....I'm slightly earlier than normal. I think the fairies come to me at night before sleep...Anyhow...
ReplyDeleteIF THE CRIME FITS...
The way he was sentenced to go was inhuman, even by fairy standards.
A single blunt dart covered in a film of slow killing poison; designed to puncture, and kill slowly and painfully.
I’d often hear their screams as the poison filled their tiny bodies, cruelly extinguishing their light, burning their souls.
This was all from my hand.
The papyrus is handed to me. Inside, my heart dies a little. I’d have to do it again.
I pull on my mask, a cloaked veil; picked up my bow and darts.
I was the judge, the jury, the executioner.
Death.
Rebecca - love how there's a half-porcupine/half-man...thing, and the woman is the monster. Lovely flip of the words.
ReplyDeletePixie - Such a vivid world, so few words. Definitely leaves us wanting more of this.
For the record Lily I think an anthology of the Prediction would be brilliant
THE UNDOING
ReplyDeleteHe’d followed her for weeks, learned her daily ritual, found her weak moment and exploited it. Kook didn’t think of what he did as inhuman, it’s god’s work; that’s what the angel had told him. As he removed the tranquilliser dart from the brunette’s thigh, his other hand opened the papyrus codex. He read aloud, “I will do these things unto thee, because thou went whoring”. Placing the wire about her neck, he pulled. As he took her onto her judgement day, he whispered “Amen”
Upon leaving her, his prescription fell from his pocket; this was to be Kooks undoing.
Rebecca: nice touch on a monster (not the quill-man) and her slave. I like the hints that you use to paint the quill-man to create an interesting picture of near other.
ReplyDeletePixie: I like the contrast in the voice with the chill way the protagonist considers what they must do. It's probably my weird imagination but I see this very Peter Pan-esque with a dark side.
William: I found the opening interesting reminiscent of pop cultural notes and the final sentence caught me off guard in a good way and made me laugh.
:
Apologies for my lateness and lack of entries. You don't want to know! Busy is not the word!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, here's my meagre effort. I just wanted to at least get something into this weeks Prediction.
Virus
“How someone could create such a thing was inhuman,” the news reports had said. That seemed so long ago now.
They called it the papyrus virus. Microscopic dart shaped particles that were inhaled or ingested. They got into your system, destroying your immunity and slowly turning your skin to paper.
Then the virus passed from survivor to survivor, killing them long before they actually died.
There aren’t many of us left. I’ve not been near anybody for weeks, yet the skin on my right arm is dry and cracking like old paper.
The virus must be airborne again.
~End~
Pixie, this is pure PJK. It flows so well and it's easy to see how the dark fairy realm is your domain. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteWilliam, Kook's back! And with passion, seriously mis-placed passion. This character's going all the way. I do hope you're outlining the full novel.
David, this is absolutely chilling.How frightening to get to that awful stage, only to find the virus has got you too. A really powerful read.
Hey folks,
ReplyDeleteI've been wanting to get back all week, at last here I am. Some stunning offerings! I doubt I'll sleep tonight now!
Ellie - Love the idea of human vellum! Excellent piece and well-written.
Sue - Incanto gave me goosebumps. Very chilling, I want more!
AJ - 'words scrawled in ruddy dried blood' - loved the image of this! This piece is itself a trophy. Well-done!
Chris - This is great, very creepy, I could visualise the dust raining down! 'oh ----' indeed!
Melenka - I love the opening lines. Slivers, scent, savors, shiver sacrifice...SCRUMPTIOUS!
I really enjoyed the sound of this.
Aidan - Very well-written. 'sweat smeared papyrus's skin' - I like the flow of this piece. Good work.
Antonia - What a tedious pedantic bugger! Sounds like she'll have the last dark laugh though! ha!
Asuqi - This is a fabulous offering, as always! Well-done.
Lily - 'gut bubbled and fused' really grabbed me. What a fantastic opening, and then it just gets better. Love it!
Scratchypen - Such vivid descriptions. I especially liked 'canine grin' and 'the bloody morass'. Terrific!
R.S. - Oh creepy! Right from the start. Excellent, a porcupine/man creature slave! Neat.
Pixie - 'cruelly extinguishing their light, burning their souls' - what a beautiful line. Well done.
William - A glimpse into the mind of a nutter! Dark and creepy, gave me shivers.
David - payrus Virus, skin to paper, I love this. Reminded me of a creepy movie I saw as a kid, 'The Andromeda Strain' which caused blood to turn to dust. (I swear that movie changed me for life!)
Anyways, excellent, this is well written and I love the sound of papyrus virus.
Looking forward to what the next batch of words bring!
Lily - yes, I'm sorry I was naughty going over the word limit. Just couldn't pare it down. I will have to strive to make my next offerings well under the 100 word mark to make up for it! (yikes!)
ReplyDelete;0)
No more entries please. Judging has already begun. Back soon...
ReplyDelete