The first time I read one of Asuqi's entries to the Prediction I knew her voice to be absolutely unique. Over the following weeks she revealed herself to be an ethereal poet in the world of fiction, dancing between such clever combinations of words as to make me gasp.
In this, the first of Asuqi's two pieces in the February Femmes Fatales showcase, she demonstrates in under 150 words how fear touches our lives in very real terms. Chilling.
Abnormal Growths in My Plastic Mind by Asuqi
She's ill, really ill, but with an operation she could have a chance.
Only she texts one of our co-workers an early morning in September to tell us that they opened her and found metastasis all over the large intestine, it was like abrasive paper, she said, and they couldn't do anything so they just stitched her up again and she would call us when she had the strength, to tell us what would happen next.
Where they will go from here.
There's nowhere to go, I think, and start fortifying myself because one of these days she'll come visit us and I'll have to act normal, say good things, be supportive.
But I can't help thinking, it's death that'll come visit, and what if, when I hug her, she leans in to me and whispers in my ear:
"I'm passing it on to you."
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Bio:
Please accept me as Asuqi. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. So I go about searching for near-life experiences. I know them when they hit me, they tickle my brain. I only have questions, I am Jack's complete lack of certainty. Yes; "Fight Club". Always.
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Only she texts one of our co-workers an early morning in September to tell us that they opened her and found metastasis all over the large intestine, it was like abrasive paper, she said, and they couldn't do anything so they just stitched her up again and she would call us when she had the strength, to tell us what would happen next.
Where they will go from here.
There's nowhere to go, I think, and start fortifying myself because one of these days she'll come visit us and I'll have to act normal, say good things, be supportive.
But I can't help thinking, it's death that'll come visit, and what if, when I hug her, she leans in to me and whispers in my ear:
"I'm passing it on to you."
______________________________________
Bio:
Please accept me as Asuqi. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. So I go about searching for near-life experiences. I know them when they hit me, they tickle my brain. I only have questions, I am Jack's complete lack of certainty. Yes; "Fight Club". Always.
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A brutally honest look at death and disease. I want to hate the narrator -- be more empathetic, I want to say -- but you know what, we are all so selfish and nobody wants to die and everyone's too scared to say it. I'm like that. Selfish. And I want to read more of Asuqi's stuff. More.
ReplyDeleteasuqi - this is wrenching. You've cast stark light on one of humanity's great frailties, and show that we are wanting. Such power in so few words - and not a one out of place. (Great title too!)
ReplyDeleteLoved every word of this, including, as Chris mentioned, the title. For me, it started with sympathy, then disdian, and ended with a great creepy sentence.
ReplyDeleteExcellent as usual. A perfectly told tale in so few words. I'm going now before I catch something!! Ha!!
ReplyDeleteWell done, Asuqi.
Asuqi - I suspect we all have more or less the same run of emotions - esp. the awkwardness of 'trying' to be 'normal' around someone who's dealing with such a major life-issue.
ReplyDeleteThanks for saying it like it is!
Ooh, I liked this! Perfect for the length and a great final line.
ReplyDeleteAsuqi, what a great flash! You said so much in such a short space, I read this early this morning but didn't have a chance to come back and leave a comment until now. But it stayed with me, been thinking of your character's fear all day - how horrific, that last line comes across as selfish/honest/vulnerable all in one.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
You skillfully bring to light those dark fears of illness and death. Sharp and succinct.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Lily, I love the photos you're putting with the stories! A nice touch. :0)
ReplyDeletesuperb. Wonderful title and chilling insight into that which we all fear the most, in just 150 words, too. Really brilliant.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!
ReplyDeleteLoved this, Asuqi! Death of loved ones is the worst fear of all. You took it further and turned it inward, and how true is that! The ending is fantastic and I loved this part too, "...she'll come visit us and I'll have to act normal.."
ReplyDeleteExcellent penning.
A truly unique voice and an emotionally charged piece of writing. Breathtaking!
ReplyDeleteScarier than a zombie apocalypse...because it's so real.
ReplyDeleteOoooh, love that last line! I can just picture it in my head. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteLovely to meet your acquaintance, Asuqi. I do believe you've just shot Horror through the heart, then stomped on it. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first received this from Asuqi, I was struck by the casual delivery on such a difficult subject. I think it's a fine writer who can carry that off.
ReplyDeleteThe chilling ending shows that in reality, there is a true, underlying and very human fear.
Lily! I´m happy and thrilled and grateful -- thank you for this! The Femme Fatale line-up is awesome and I´d like to say something dignified like I´m honoured to be included, but really, right now I´m just like SQUEEE! Oh, and the picture is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteEveryone: I´m touched by your wonderful comments! They mean more than I can express, thank you =)
I can´t wait to read the rest!
That was really powerful!
ReplyDeleteHello by the way- I'm a new follower. Looking forward to getting to know the host better. :)
Asuqi - go ahead and SQUEEE. I love it!
ReplyDeleteHi there Summer Ross! Glad to welcome you to the Feardom.
wow, that is a powerful and fantastically dark ending. Human nature, true to the last. What a winner.
ReplyDeleteWoah....I had to read that twice...so much emotion crammed into such a short space, each time I understand things a bit more (I can be really slow sometimes). A really heart-wrenching piece, well done.
ReplyDeleteDeath by DNA? Not knowing ... Worrying. Well done Asuqi
ReplyDelete