Spectacular entries for the Prediction last week from Michael Solender, Sue H, Erin Cole, David Barber, Chris Allinotte and Pixie J. King. Even managed to squeeze one in myself. Thanks all for taking the time not just to enter, but to save the Prediction from an untimely demise!
Enough of the speech. Here are this week's words/phrases:
- vouch
- aluminium foil (aluminum is acceptable)
- servitude
As usual, 100 words max flash fiction please (excluding title) added to the Comments box below, and feel free to make additional comments too.
Drum roll............................................
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In His Service
ReplyDeleteAll these many years in servitude to that miserable wretch. Nothing left to me upon his death, not even a ball of aluminum foil. I certainly knew how cheap he was, I could vouch for that. But not even a penny after my many years of loyal service? Had I know it would be like this, I would have killed him years before I actually did.
To A Better Place.
ReplyDelete“I’ll vouch for her,” he said, “she was with us all night.”
Her eyes opened wide when she turned and saw who it was.
“I think you’ll find all is in order with the paperwork, officer. Now let’s go, Jane.”
#
Walking her down the deserted hospital corridor, he said, “The servitude we have bestowed, and you repay us this way. Well, I assure you, this will never happen again.”
#
The darkened aluminium foil laid on the floor next her dead body. The syringe hanging out of the crook of her arm had taken her to a better place.
David! Nasty cruel and deliriously dark!
ReplyDeleteMichael, apologies. I read yours and then just posted mine without commenting. As usual, your writing is tight and there isn't a word wated. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteMichael, strange - when I first read yours I thought of two elderly brothers. Re-reading it I now assume it was a wife, or at least a partner, who knocked him off - though it's not implicit. Very clever, great twist.
ReplyDeleteDavid, a dark, nasty piece. You've vividly touched on my worst nightmare - syringes hanging out of arms - uuurgh. Great piece of flash.
Thanks, Lily. And where's your contribution?
ReplyDeleteBTW-That should have said..."there isn't a word wasted.." in my previous comment.
Have a great weekend!
Michael - I just recently re-read "the Telltale Heart" ... yours reminds me of that.
ReplyDeleteDavid - Nasty and just a bit sad. Wonderful.
And here's my own:
Tinfoil hat
I reached up and touched my head. The aluminum foil hat was still there.
Whew.
Relief.
One more day of safety. One more day that THEY wouldn’t be claiming me.
From outside the tiny cell, I heard voices.
“I’ll vouch for him officer. He’s no danger to anyone.” My brother. Great.
“That’s not what the old lady he assaulted would say.” That was the short, petulant officer that had been tormenting me.
The cell swung open.
“Time to come home Terrence. Take that stupid thing off.”
“Noo!”
The voices flooded in. “We have you now human."
"Your servitude begins today.”
Chris, that was a great write. I was waiting for someone to come up with the old tinfoil hat scenario and you perfected it.
ReplyDeleteMight have to get mine out later - the radar needs adjusting.
Sorry David, you're right. There I go - chivvying everyone else along - but failing miserably to add one myself. I stand admonished. Here's mine:
ReplyDeleteLADY MUCK
Be warned. Never vouch for someone you barely know. I slogged in poorly paid servitude to Lady Bartescue for ten hard months. Collecting her from the station I drove her around London from dawn till dusk, never allowed near the manor house itself. Snooty cow.
When the police came, I swore she was the real deal. So they took me to the Manor Gardens council estate in Pimlico to see for myself. Aluminium foil lined every inch of Joyce Higgins’ basement flat. She’d died there, crushed beneath the mountain of stuff she’d nicked.
I won’t be getting paid. I’m gutted.
Chris - The aluminium foil hat made me laugh, as it did in "Signs". great piece, mate.
ReplyDeleteLily - Thieving old biddies are great, aren't they? nice lttle write, Lily. Well done.
Have a great weekend all!
Chris - love the hat!
ReplyDeleteLily- Had to break out my UK dictionary- I love learning regional verbiage!
I have a tinfoil baseball cap - it says to the world "I'm cool AND safe from your evil mind-rays"
ReplyDeleteLily - nice one, and seems plausible as well.
Michael - Nice! Love that dark truth at the end.
ReplyDeleteDavid - Yes, another bit of dark truth, but she must have been framed!
Chris - the best use of tin foil to date, and you crafted it into a fine, dialogue-rich tale.
Lily - these are great, and so is your piece on regret and lessons!
Here’s my late little flash, inspired by local tragedy:
Slippery Souls
He unfolded the aluminum foil, where he kept Jake’s teeth. It was all they had ever found of his twin brother. He knew those teeth—he had them. He’d watched them smile over birthday cake; grin at dad’s new tools; and glint beneath the glare of his stepmother’s visit. The servitude of his brother’s disappearance consumed Jeremy like a starved python. There was nothing more important, nothing that could distract him: he vouched to find the rest of Jake, at every sliver of dawn’s cruel light, even if that meant exhuming the snake that dwelled within his father's black world.
What an opening line, Erin! A dark and threatening piece with barely hidden menace. The double-snake reference lends a slithering horror.
ReplyDeleteIs this an adapted excerpt from something bigger? It's crying out to be expanded. Loved it.
Finally got home to the land of the living and the land of normal internet. Will see if I can come up with something this evening or tomorrow, one of the two.
ReplyDeleteAnd if I can, I might try and follow on from last week's entry. Don't hold your breath though, folks.
Pixie x
Lily - sorry to be late with this! A hectic weekend away (and midnight trips to A&E....!) will have to suffice as my excuse!
ReplyDeleteBut better late than never, eh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A life of servitude. Despite successive generations, here I was, basically just a domestic, born of a line of domestics.
Admittedly, a rather more educated domestic than my forbears.
Thus I am aware of the electrical conductive properties of aluminium foil. So, after an unfortunate ‘accident’ with the bath, Sir Michael will no longer be needing my services.
There will be no clues - the place is thoroughly tidied up now, I can vouch for that; indeed, he engaged me for my scrupulous standards.
I wonder what the plods will make of it.
In this case, it was the butler!
Hi Sue. Not late at all - you get all week!
ReplyDeleteI love this, it's brilliant! Very Mapp & Lucia. I have a friend who butles for a Lord; he prides himself on his scrupulous standards. Wonder what he'd make of this ;)
Hope the reason you were at A&E isn't too serious, btw?
Pixie, look forward to seeing yours if you get time!
ReplyDeleteLily - thanks for your kind words! (the trip to A&E was me ferrying OH - quicker than waiting for an ambulance - he's just about on the mend now, thanks!)
ReplyDelete