Sunday 5 February 2012

It’s A Long Way To Sometime by Dorothy Davies - February Femmes Fatales

Dorothy's back already with a terrifying tale that freaks me out every time I read it.

I dare you - read it more than once and see where it takes you. Then tell us what you saw.

Hate to show off, but I loved making this particular 'cover'.

IT'S A LONG WAY TO SOMETIME

One step. One step me. Earth shook. Shook much, dust fell on head. My head. Dust on head. One step I took more. Dust fell. Do not want dust on head.

Two steps I do. Clever. I walk. Them said “he never walk.” Them wrong. I walk. See three steps. Now no care about dust.

I want.

I want same as others.

Mother. Father. Brother. Sister. Home.

I want.

They not want me.

Four steps. Five steps. I walk. I walk good.

This. This door. This stop me walk any more. Bang. No door stop me walk any more.

This is. What they say? New.

This is. Room. Big. Walk here good. More steps. How many more steps. Ten more steps. I walk good. Them say “he never walk.” Them wrong. I walk. I walk good. I no care about dust. I walk.

Oh. Person stop me walk. Bang. Person no stop me walk. No one stop me walk. I walk good.

I walk out of here.

I not like here. I not like noise. No. Not noise. Person sound. Scream. Yes. Scream. Person see me and scream. I not like. I stop scream. Bang. Scream stop.

More person. More person run and scream. Say “he walk!” I say “I walk good!” but I only make noise. Not word. Why I not make word? I big. I walk good. I talk – talk? Make word is talk? Person go from me. Good. I not like person. Stop me walk. No one stop me walk.

Out. Out door. Door no bang. Door open. Person – bang. Person lie down. Person not move. Good. No stop me walk. No stop me, I walk good.

What is light. Light in sky. Light is hot. Light is hot on me. I know I hair. Lot of hair. Person say “he lot of hair.” Good or not good? Person not say. I not know.

I walk. I walk good. Person scream loud and I go bang and stop person scream. Person run away. All person run away. I walk good with no person.

Dust fall on head. Earth shake when I walk. I walk good. I no like dust but I like outside. I like no person stop me.

Oh. What is – box. Round things. Noise. Scream. No, not scream. Shout. Shout STOP! Bang. Box go flat. Round things go flat. No more STOP.

I remember.

I remember Mother. Mother soft. No bang for Mother. Mother good. I remember Father. Father not soft. Bang for Father. Father bad. I remember brother. Brother soft. Small. No bang for brother. Brother run fast, cry, run, not me. I walk good. I no run. I walk and go – fast. Big legs. Person said “he has big legs. He take long steps.” Other person said “he no walk.” Person wrong. I walk good. I take long steps. I go fast.

I remember sister. Sister soft. No bang for sister. Sister cry and – touch me. Touch hair. Call me “teddy bear.” What is “teddy bear”?

I remember. Mother said “I come and see you sometime.”

Father no say nothing. Father bang lie down no move.

Brother say “It’s a long way.”

I say “What is? Sometime?” I walk. I walk good. I walk fast. I see person run scream hide I see no person to bang no person to stop no person to bring box and round things to stop walk.

I go.

I go find mother. I tired of room. I tired of bars. I tired of person who call me an – im – al and hit me. I bang person. I big. I strong. I bigger now. Mother know me.

I say “it sometime. I come.”

Brother say “it’s a long way.”

I say “it’s a long way to sometime”. No know what is but sound good in head.

No one stop me.

I walk good.

No person to bang.

Sometime. I come.

_________ The End _________


Dorothy Davies
Bio: Dorothy Davies lives and works on the haunted Isle of Wight, where she works with spirit authors, some of whom are horror writers who have not yet finished with their horror writing.

 She is a full member of the Fictioneers as well as editor and contributor to many Static Movement anthologies and guest editor at Red Skies Publishing, too.

26 comments:

  1. This started out by conjuring up the image of a zombie for me, then it changed to something like Frankenstein's monster. It was a scary tale, but also a sad one, for whoever the character is, he is alone.

    I enjoyed this, very imaginative writing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks, Helen! I have NO idea where this came from. It just - appeared on the screen through the fingers and I went with it and thought, what in the name of Heaven am I writing here...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lily, that is one amazing cover, thank you! Very evocative and very suitable for this strange piece of fiction!

    ReplyDelete
  4. A very effective story that leaves me still questioning - who, what, how ? The character reminded me of Frankenstein's monster in being different from others, frightening others, the search for 'self'and family.
    I'm not a fan of horror stories in general but I liked this very much.
    Well done Dorothy (and who ever used your fingers to type ! )
    Great cover, Lily.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Lexia! I was wondering how people would react to this rather strange being - so pleased you liked it. I have a pretty good idea who wrote it with me, he's been responsible for a lot of stories this past 12 months and they are still coming!

      Delete
  5. Person stop me walk. Bang. Person no stop me walk.

    Antonia/Dorothy ~ Are you the vessel in a being's automatic writing? Since I like you tremendously each&every time I stumble into new discoveries of your wordsense ... would you kindly 'tell' the force of the being to regard YOU as 'good'. I'd not want you banged around.

    My esteemed colleague Helen claimed zombie but the 'being' had you practically type the word "criminal" and bars (cell?) and indeed some pretty nasty gunning is bangedly involved. Empathy goes to your character who I shudder to think is now freed due to your keyboard assistance -- TELL the being Lily is good, Lily is good too. (She did such a bangup job on creating your cover, we'd like her to stick around).

    Your/the being's staccato style walked this one right out of the room. "IT'S A LONG WAY TO SOMETIME" is a vision title.

    ~ Absolutely*Kate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's a cooperative venture, AK, there are several people around writing the stories with me. The more sedate ones are waiting for their life stories to be told, they would not be that flippant (imagine Elizabeth I writing a story like that...)
      I had the title in my head for some time, whether I heard it in a song or invented it, I don't now recall. I wrote it out, left the blank page and then a few weeks later went back and wrote this.
      The 'being', I am assured, is a figment of our joint imagination.
      I know this story owes a lot to my all time favourite horror story, Born Of Man And Woman by Richard Matheson. That one is truly chilling. His being does not escape - not during the story anyway - so I think my being did as an antidote to the trapped one I remember from so many years ago.

      Delete
    2. Appreci'kate that illumination Dorothy/Antonia ... more compelling yet is my regard for you, the worlds that careen along with/through you, and natch, this ending where the 'being' gets his/her/its ... first big 'break'.

      There's more to this story you shall be shared. Will you please let me know when you/the 'being' are speaking out again. (Oh, and A*K is good too! No bangs. No silent on street corners not named desire.) Thanks!

      Delete
  6. Your story made me want to know about this poor fella. Really well done. Thank you for sharing your words.

    Marietta Miles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you! This one is really reaching people, which is good.

      Delete
  7. I took Lily's advice and read it twice. All I have to say is Wowsers, Mizz Dorothy (which is my mother's name and I love it, by the way). Your story piques the imagination and is honestly scary and touching, all at the same time. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, Cathy! I love the story even now, after quite a few re-reads.

      Delete
  8. Really enjoyed this. I liked the stilted voice, and the strength behind it. Scary and touching, as Cathy said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, Laurita! Some stories just work, don't they? Looking forward to yours this week (I just checked the schedule...)

      Delete
  9. This character is the consummate problem-solver. Bang! Problem solved. Antonia, I envy your imagination and the absolutely unique delivery.

    ReplyDelete
  10. thank you! Every story has its own 'voice' and this one demanded to be told this way. It bothered me for several days afterwards, as if I had been in the creature's mind somehow. But it would not work third person. Tried it and it failed. I actually didn't write anything new for a week after this one. So, if it disturbed me...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stunned. Just stunned.

    As you know Dorothy we both share a love for Matheson's work, he being my favourite author too, so I instantly recognised the style. I thought it would be a feral child but you took it in a new direction, curved it and twisted it. I then had images of the dawning intelligence evolution of Planet of the Apes.

    Whatever it is the fact it is learning and recognising that every step, both physically and evolutionary, are steps closer to inevitable brutality are chilling.

    Loved this so much and it made such a refreshing change. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. thank you! I appreciate this compliment a great deal. I think it's one of my stories which is never going to leave my mind. It went deep when I wrote it and has stayed there ever since.
    I really believe Born Of Man And Woman is one of the most enthralling horror stories ever written, by its very tone and content and I believe too it has stayed with me these many years, promoting and boosting my love for horror and my desire to write it. It has taken me this long to learn how to write it well. I am still learning.

    Just last week I watched The Gruffalo, the earth shaking every time he/it took a step. The Gruffalo is charming and cuddly, my monster/freak/whatever is definitely not. And there is no crafty scheming mouse in my story to deflect the horror to come, either!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Excellent work crafting something original. The voice immediately pulled me in, and I thought it was quite creepy, which is very hard to do properly. Well done, Dorothy. Loved it.

    And that photo, Lily...that scared me too!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Erin, thank you! Creepy, yes. This strange being haunts me yet.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Excellent voice here, Antonia. As simple as it is, we still get the sadness and frustration.

    (And where did you get the Gruffalo on film???)

    ReplyDelete
  16. A fascinating point of view, Bang! No Bang! Ah, to be able to go back to a time when things were so simple. :-) This conjured visions of creatures as diverse as Rawhead Rex to Captain Caveman. Not to mention those first humans waving jawbones at the sky.Thinking about it from a 21st century point of view. Give a Tech soldier a state of the art weapon and it still comes down to Bang! No Bang in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Excellent piece! It caught my attention from the outset and made me want to know more. Always a sign of great writing!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you, Marissa!

    Chris A - you can get The Gruffalo on DVD from Amazon. It's a delight to watch.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Fantastic! I really enjoyed the voice, very unique. I'm with Marissa - it grabbed me from the start and made me want more.
    :0)

    ReplyDelete

Lily Childs is a writer of horror, esoteric, mystery and chilling fiction.

If you see her dancing outside in a thunder storm - don't try to bring her in. She's safe.