Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Rant and Rage

In an effort to turn negative emotions into literary inspiration I am listing my top three hates to see whether, by some kind of cathartic osmosis, they turn into characters or stories. Not that I'm stuck for ideas, I just need to dispose of these annoyances:
  1. Coathangers. They have lives of their own. They catch on everything, and I hate them. They evoke a ridiculous amount of rage in me and many things have been torn or broken by me as a result. Answer: Anger Management? Never put anything in the wardrobe?
  2. Toilet paper that doesn't tear properly. It means you have to fold it a different way, which results in a completely unsatisfactory wipe of the nether regions. Answer: don't buy Tesco own-brand, which gets thinner by the pack anyway.
  3. People in my space. This particularly relates to OLD PEOPLE IN SUPERMARKET QUEUES. God, they annoy me. Right up my arse, nudging - always nudging me with their trolleys, pushing me forwards into the person in front, catching my clothes on their baskets. Answer: step backwards and tread on their toes. Be prepared to use my elbows. Aaaarrgh - why can't people respect others' space?
That's it. All done now.
Lily Childs is a writer of horror, esoteric, mystery and chilling fiction.

If you see her dancing outside in a thunder storm - don't try to bring her in. She's safe.