Friday, 26 November 2010

Lily's Friday Prediction

This Friday's three words are short and sweet. With every week bursting afresh with such talented writes I'm wondering what delicious delights you can make with these.

Firstly, congratulations to Antonia Woodville for winning last week's Prediction and well done to AidanF as runner-up. Excellent. Thanks to everyone who entered and commented.

Today's words are:

  • Peacock
  • Lime
  • Skinny
Make of those what you will.


The rules are: 100 words max flash fiction or poetry using all of the words above. Please add your entries in the Comments box below. You have all week until 9pm UK time Thursday 02 December to enter.

Winner will be announced next Thursday or Friday. If you can, please tweet about your entry, using the #fridayflash hashtag, and blog if you feel like it.

I've got something in the pot already. What ya got bubblin' in yours?


  1. Her bottom lip unfurled upon itself into a skinny little line; she was trying to retain her composure. How vulnerable she appeared, her lime colored skirt all wrinkled, her eyes welling with tears. The proud peacock I once courted was now shivering in the corner of her tiny room. The doctors said the combination of pills and alcohol nearly killed her.

    "I don't want to die," she said when I entered her sanctuary , "I just don't want to live with the pain any longer."

  2. Michael setting the high standard for this week's competition already ... nice one!

  3. The Cutter.

    He swaggered into the club wearing his peacock suit and bastard expression. He was The Cutter, Mr Razor to you and me. He grabbed a girl from the dance floor and dragged her to his table. She had no say.

    He ordered a Coke for him and vodka for her. ‘Top it up with lime,’ he ordered. ‘Let her know how her grave will taste tonight.’

    He liked them skinny. Easier to fuck and easier to break. She smiled up at the waitress as he drank.

    It’s also easy to poison somebody when arrogance makes them believe they’re untouchable.

  4. Michael - tragic and moving. I'm always amazed at the depth you achieve in 100 words. The mark of a pro indeed.

    Anthony - great write, and sharper than Mr. Razor himself. It cuts quick and cuts deep. Nicely done.

  5. Michael your story is very haunting and as Chris mentioned it seems to pack so much in so few words.

    Chris thanks for the comments, much appreciated.

  6. Diamonds

    Duke Curran strutted about, sucking adulation from his guests' lips like juice from a lime. With each lady, the preening peacock bowed so deeply, thrusting his skinny shanks out behind him, that his coattails flicked out like twin tongues.

    Gripped by a sudden, insane impulse, Diana twirled the diamond pendant so it caught the light and sparkled. This was madness, but she couldn't help herself- the Duke's grotesque arrogance chafed her very sensibilities.

    Curran looked up and saw immediately what she was holding. His mouth gaped.

    Diana blew him a kiss and disappeared into the shadows.

    The game had begun.

  7. Antonia - Thx for the luv

    Chris- Love 1st ppg, got better from there.

    Anthony - Just deserts from the skinny gal.

  8. OK, here goes ... the offering this week is:
    ‘Give me the skinny!’
    ‘Shut up! I hate you!’
    ‘Give me the skinny!’
    ‘I said, shut up, I hate you!’
    ‘What’s the lime?’
    Damn bird never could say time. What’s the lime, what’s the lime ... I could throttle the bloody thing. If Damien doesn’t come back soon, I will.
    ‘Give me the skinny!’
    ‘Enough!’ The brass peacock was by my hand. Lucky throw ... for the bird. It hit the latch and the door sprang open.
    One mad dash - but too late.
    It headed toward me, shouting “Shut up, I hate you!” as it went for my eyes.

  9. Anthony, superb chilling words.
    Chris, another startling offering.
    Damn, the standards are getting even higher around here!!!!

  10. Michael, what a powerfully tragic scenario. I hope against hope that he is her saviour.

    Anthony, loved this fast and vicious delivery as well as the superb title. A fine twist.

    Chris, I wanna play this game too. Beautiful descriptions and a great concept. Best line "...sucking adulation from his guests' lips like juice from a lime."

    Antonia - caught me out with that one! Had to read it twice - and then it hit me. Very clever.

  11. Antonia - thanks for the comment - I aim to please.

    Yours is wonderful - I love it when "funny" gets suddenly dark and completely catches us off guard.

  12. thanks Lily, thanks Chris. I played with that one for a time, until it came out that way and seemed to want to stay that way. Yes, funny going dark, I seem to be doing that a lot lately!

  13. Michael - great starter for this week! Impressed at the 'back-story' it conjured up.

    Anthony - a sharp tale, perfectly executed!

    Chris - elegant writing, as always!!

    Antonia - I, too, thought it was a case of 'bye-bye-birdie' making a bid for freedom, till that final twist of ornithic-revenge!

    So, Lily - sorry I missed out last week (hence me entering on Day#1 this week)!

    Here, y'go - bang on 100!


    “Skinny Latté,” I said, a little rudely. I’d been kept waiting and the tannoy on Lime Street station was announcing my train.

    He fussed over my order, hands just a blur, strutting his stuff like a ruddy peacock. I wanted coffee, not cabaret.

    I daydreamed, wishing he’d make a mistake and scald himself.

    The scream echoed in my ears. Barista-boy’s shirt was steaming and the raw, blistered flesh was coming with it as he tried to pull it over his head.

    I backed quickly out of the shop, cup in hand. Sometimes, I smiled, we get what we wish for.

  14. Michael's lovely descriptions lull you in. Loved the line 'Her bottom lip unfurled upon itself into a skinny little line'.

    Tony - Very sharp, love the 'bastard expression' which sums up the character so effortlessly.

    Chris - Smootly written that you want to indulge in this seductive game.

    Antonia - This made me smile, even though dark...good for the bird. Nice little twist.

  15. Sue - that was nice and nasty. I love how she's completely unrepentent in the face of the horror in front of her. Now if she could only daydream that we all get great book deals. ;)

  16. Honey

    Dark, wide, peacock eyes blinked.

    His smile burned through the dimly lit candescence cast by a row of candles along the fireplace. His shadow flickered as though momentarily shuddering.

    The soft glow caressed her demure face. She was skinny, small breasted, but he didn’t mind.

    A masterful flick of the wrist, a hint of lime, and the drink fizzed. An offering, to ease him into her trusting cloud. Her eyes appeared vague, already lost.

    A dark rancour slowly crept across his skin as he closed the door to the bedroom. ‘Let this be our little secret...don’t tell the other children...’

  17. Sue, a very nasty one indeed! Liked that, good feeling to it and clever use of the words, too.

    Ally, oh my, very very bleak, dark, nasty. Brilliant.

  18. I was toying with two definitions of 'lime', apparently disconnected (though I haven't looked at the etymologies yet). Tried to figure out a way to use both in one story, but ended up with a pair. . .

    - - -

    "Skinny little whelp! I'll teach you!"

    He stiffened, took the first blow. Knew not to object, or make any sound at all. The offense was unimportant. Anything provided an excuse.

    "Walking around" crack "like a goddamn peacock" crack "like you own the place!"

    That night the knife slipped in so easily. A bundle of fine sheets staining dark as he strained to reach the woods' edge. The pit already prepared, a generous bucket of lime on top, then the dirt. Dawn broke with the final shovel, and he felt an unusual sensation; later he would come to call it happiness.

    - - -

    Thumping rhythms would once have fired his blood, but no longer. Still, the women were worth watching - swaying, twisting, bronze peacocks in their outlandish costumes. Curved where they should be, not like those skinny things he'd been used to. Full of life.

    Nor was he affected by the drink in his hand, wedge of lime clinging to its edge. He'd long learned the value of blending in, a lesson reinfoced equally by angry crowds and deluded admirers. So he waited, let the spectacle swirl around him. Soon enough they'd be asleep. Then his party could start, and his feast.

    - - -

  19. AJ - that last line blew me away. Extremely well done, I have to say!!!!

  20. Bill - two really good stories here; I think #1 is my favourite - lovely imagery!!

  21. Watcha Sue. Pleased to see you back. Great title here with Scarbucks. How you twist from irritation to the waiter's screaming rage of pain, and then deftly back to a casual handbag-waltz out of the coffee bar was ingenious.

    AJ, this cut me to the core. Prettily seductive until the devastating realisation of this evil bastard's abuse. A raw and distressing write.

    Bill, you've got me looking for your tricks after last week's gender test. :)
    #1 Revenge - I believe - for a lifetime of abuse from his father(?) with the ultimate journey to closure. Well crafted.
    #2 Phwor - this drips of a zombie/vamp/undead hunger fest. Deliciously inviting.

  22. Strut

    Laced-tight, Chuck’s corset glorified his skinny frame. He twisted this way and that, clutching at his 16” waist. The operation had been worth it; removal of two ribs had worked where years of vomiting had failed.

    On the floor, Mommy bled with surprising ease. She hadn’t wanted to give up the stilettos.

    “It’s time Mama. I’m gonna be a mod-elle now; I need these more than you.”

    Chuck slipped the peacock blue shoes on, lime green heels dirtied with cloying red. He stepped over the pulpous body towards freedom.

    “Chuck?” breathed Mama. “You sure are as pretty as your Daddy.”

  23. Bill, can't choose between those two, they're both superb.
    Lily, another of your dark, dark ones. Very clever, very fiendish.
    I'm amazed at what stories can come from three unrelated words and at what it is pulling out of me in the way of dark tales. Enjoying it a lot!

  24. AJ- your story actually made me feel ill. That’s because my daughter’s name is Honey though. But I must say you created such a dark atmosphere that it made the scenario and environment seem so real that it will be disturbing to anybody who reads it. Brilliant stuff. I loved, ‘to ease him into her trusting cloud’. I wish I‘d written that line.

    Chris- ‘The Game’ just sounds like my normal Friday night out. Seriously though it was such a cunning tale that I wasn’t sure how it would end. You breathed life into your characters in so few words and that is a huge accomplishment. Will we get a sequel?

    Antonia- It was like Hitchcock on acid. The sparse dialogue moved the story on quickly and built a sense of almost electric tension. The ending made me laugh and feel quite scared at the same time. Some achievement that.

    Sue H- Ha such a lovely vignette of train station frustration. I’ve waited impatiently for a coffee at Lime Street while my train threatened to pull away from the platform so many times that it was very real to me. Next time I set off from Liverpool I’ll have your story in my mind and a smile on my face.

    Bill-I felt like your second story could be the prequel to the first. There’s a good dark character in there that you could possibly develop. Both tales were disturbing and so well written that I actually wanted to hear more. Thanks for the nightmares, I’ll enjoy them tonight.

    Lily- What a beautiful story of grotesque. I found empathy with both Chuck and his Momma. It felt like you’d put a whole backstory in there that I had to re-read to see. You hadn’t. You let it uncover through your characters. Brilliant.

  25. thank you, Anthony! I lived with a parrot for 5 years, he was vicious with everyone but me, so it didn't take much to transplant the words to a bird who used to whistle endlessly rather than speak.
    The standards here are so high it is untrue. Mind boggling challenge and we all come up with something startling, somehow!

  26. Sue, the hint of humour made me smile, then it quickly turned dark and so emphatic, I could easily imagine the scenario.

    Bill, I liked both stories, (more so No. 2), full of imagery and simply oozing with a dark undercurrent.

    Lily - Unrepentantly horrific. So you. And yet there exists a dark psycological underbelly withing the narrative. Excellent stuff.

  27. Hello, all wanderers in Feardom. Mine:



    Some skinny bitch with three pounds of make-up sliding off her face and lime-green boots was contorting herself, body snapping like an epileptic cat. Was he impressed? I didn’t care. I came up behind her and hooked a finger in one cheap hoop earring. She screeched as I hissed, “Beat it. Or you’ll be eating through a straw for the next six months.”

    She slunk away, rubbing her ear.

    “My little peacock, I wanted her for the next show.”

    I tossed my head. “Then you’ll have to use me instead.”

    “Mm. I suppose I will.” His nails dragged over my ass.

  28. Lily -- Love boys in corsets. Never seen them so ruthless before! Well, one must do what one must.

    Bill -- Two very good pieces! I think I like the second better, because it hints at carnage to come.

    Oh, AJ! Yours is dark and evil and chilling! It's fairly creepy all along, but the ending... whew!

    Sue -- "Scarbucks"! What a title for your story! Having been scalded (trousers, thighs) badly once, this one really got me.

    Antonia -- I laughed! The bird gets revenge... for what? Or perhaps it's just evil. I've met a few who seemed to just want to snap, and those beaks... *shudders* Good one!

    Chris -- Oooh, very nice! The first paragraph is simply stunning. Had to read it twice. Talk about a hook. But then you reach the end -- and it's been another whirlwind ride with you. (and another start to what could be a fabulous novel/novella/short story, eh?)

    Michael -- Heartbreaking. And so understandable. Love that you tell it not from her perspective, but his.

  29. Michael - Brilliant! Enough said.

    Anthony - Really liked that one, especially the switch at the end.

    Chris - Would love to read more. Oh the intrigue! Nicely done.

    Antonia - Another fine piece. Enjoyed.

    Sue - Scarbuck! Great! Very fine 100 word story.

    Ally - WOW!! Brilliantly written piece on a very sensitive and disturbing subject. Well done.

    Bill - 2 smart stories. As Sue said, #1 is my fave. Well done, mate.

    Lily - Twisted and sick and awesome. That had "Lily Childs" written all over it. Great!!

    R.S. - That was great. It played like a movie scene to me. Well done.

  30. OK, Lily. Here's my attempt at the start of a series.

    The Undead.

    “What’s this piece of lime for?” I asked, removing it from the neck of my beer bottle.

    “It keeps the mosquitos away,” the bartender answered.

    “Oh yeah, we get a lot of those in Manchester don’t we?” I said sarcastically.

    The barman walked away.

    I took a mouthful of beer, keeping an eye on the pub door, when suddenly it burst open.

    He strutted in like a peacock on heat. The skinny woman on his arm was dressed head to foot in black and there was an unnatural beauty about her.

    He was going to be easy, but her?

    To be continued…..

  31. A bit of a cut and shut rush job this week. I have another idea I'm working on, but just incase I don't finish it in time, here's my offering.

    Don't Sit Down

    Skinny tendrils silently twisted up the inside of the lime green toilet bowl. They worked quickly as they pushed up inside the soft forgiving flesh of their prey, tearing through veins and nerves like a child gorging on liquorice bootlaces. Each vine growing as they feasted, until their host could no longer hold them within and his body splayed open like a peacocks tail, his genitals dropping with a splat into the pine scented water below. After their feast the tendrils returned to the darkness of the sewer below to wait for their next opportunity to feed.

  32. Spectacular latest entries. I am out, but not about this evening - so will be back with a lot to say on these tomorrow. Yummy.

  33. Bad to the Bohn, RS - I love the sleeze in Vegas' grimy little dance. It perfectly captures the sickening relentlessness of the industry. Excellent.

    David - I want the rest now! What a clever piece of intrigue; who is the narrator? Was he waiting for the couple? Are they inhuman? What's he going to do to them? Is the woman Angie Bowie?

    William - fantastic visuals here. I am somehow most disturbed by the silence of the creature's movement as its tendrils slip and penetrate. Beautiful descriptions. I loved it.

  34. William - That was fantastically gross! As Lily said, great visuals. I've not uncrossed my legs yet just in case my genitals drop off with a splat!!! lol

    Great work.

  35. P.s. Lily, I'd tell you but I don't know what happens myself until I get your next 3 words. I never have any story fully formed in my mind. It usually startes wi................

    (See what I did there?? Haha!!!!)

  36. Some people may recognise me as LizG from TB. I have been out of touch with writing for far too long and attempting this 100 word exercise seemed like a good way to return:

    A Mother’s Love

    Will she miss her skinny child; will she care? She gazes into the mirror adding yet more embellishments before floating into the arms of her peacock partner.
    The child emulates her baby curls as in desperation she tucks herself into a human roll and shivers into her final sleep; alone in an unknown basement, laughter echoing in her ears.
    What of the mother’s thoughts upon the child’s return; her friend’s support exhausted? Will it be sorrow for her loss, or will she wrap her legs around the bar stool, sup vodka and lime and consider how: Life must go on.

  37. Elspeth, a shiver coursed through me from head to toe reading this. There's a deliberate vagueness to what is happening; a drunken mother who is more obsessed with seeking passing love for herself than caring for her sweet child. The distressing question of whether she'll even care when she discovers the death just hangs there.

    Powerful and very well-written.

  38. So close to real life, Elspeth. Quite a heart wrenching piece of writing. Well done.

  39. Thank you so much for your comments, they have given me quite some boost, particularly as I have been reading the excellent writing already on here. It is amazing how three words can bring about such diverse stories and poems.

  40. Elspeth, brilliant stuff, very visual, very emotional. Loved it.
    David, more please!
    RS, great stuff, truly.
    William, cold and nasty, and - what were they/are they/are they controllable/will we survive... *shudders*.

  41. David- I can't wait to hear what happens next. Why was he going to be easy and not her? How's it going to roll out? Sharp stuff that has my imagination running wild.

    William- the line about the pine scented splash got me. It reads like the opening scene of a gory monster movie. Think I'll keep my legs crossed today.

    Elspeth- Such a cold and dark story that really hits deep. You managed to realise the characters of the mother and child so vividly in so few words. I felt anger and sadness when I read it. Well done.

  42. AJ - GAHH. Sudden evil! So dark, and so well done!

    Bill (1) love the rural flavour of this bit of revenge. Bastard had it coming. (2) Great style and detail. Interesting rejection of "type" gave some nice specifics.

    Lily - That's so beautifully twisted, I don't know where to start. You have the knack of describing the indescribably. Lovely.

    RS - Love the unrepentant, aggressive seduction. Not sure the guy knows how much he's biting off.

    David - fine noir stylings as always. Start of a series indeed. Bring it the @##$ on. :)

    William - Great. Now I have to s#!t standing up. Way too realistic. Great writing.

    Elspeth - you've given us one of the untold, silent, horrors that are really out there. Unsettling to say the least. Well done.

  43. Jumpin´ in, fashionably late and slightly weird =)

    Every Present is a Pearl on an Eternal String
    A clock on the wall marks the variety in anyone´s situation.

    The image right now is that of a girl at a table, her lime-coloured legs twitching randomly.

    Her companion smiles cruelly over the crisp, white cloth.

    ”Your mimetic bones are givin´ in, honey. I told you that magical polycarbon shit wouldn´t last forever.”

    She tries to smile, a grimace pulled taut over what´s still her original skull. Her hands fly reflexively to her skinny legs, in an attempt to force them still.

    And in another present: A fragile table crashed on the floor. A lonely girl crying peacock tears.

  44. Slightly weird, asuqi? Superb title, extraordinarily surreal text. I loved it!

    Have you ever submitted anything to The New Flesh at They do like their bizarro.

    Just started following your blog, by the way; astounding writing.

  45. Wow, Lily! I´m blown away! That means a lot to me, thanks =)

  46. Perp

    We sit round a table drinking stale coffee and sharing key-lime pie while our chief-inspector gives us the skinny on our fourth case.

    The torso of a young man was found near the river. We look at a photo and recognise the killer’s signature; a long straight peacock feather pierced through the victim’s left nipple. There were three others before him, each more mutilated than the last.

    One of us fidgets and tries to hide a smirk as she thinks of Precious at home in her backyard. She hopes she’s left him enough water; Peafowl get thirsty in this heat.

  47. Great scene-setting here Susan. I'm wondering if the nipple gets pierced before or after the murder - that's gotta make a mess!

    I like the twist at the end; that much darker for being a cop and a woman.

  48. Wow! More great ideas this week!

    Michael - very haunting and tragic.
    Anthony - very chilling indeed!
    Chris - fantastic description.
    Antonia - good for the bird! Great twist.
    Sue H. - loved Scarbucks and I agree, great title!
    AJ Humpage - what a last line! Poor wee thing.
    Bill Owens - 2 great offerings! Hard to pick a favourite.
    Lily Childs - great, dark, story!
    R.S Bohn - loved it, so much told in such few words, it came to life as I read it.
    David Barber - can't wait to see what happens next!
    William Davoll- freaky tendrils creeped me out! Don't sit down indeed!
    Elspeth - very sad, I felt the emotion.
    asuki - interesting, well-written piece!

    A lot of great writers sharing on here (I hope I didn't miss anybody), can't wait to see what comes out next week!

  49. Usuqi - Slighly weird...yes. Totally great...yes! I have so many images going through my head after reading that. Well done!

    Susan - Loved that one. A peacok feather through a that's got to hurt!! :-)

  50. Catching up, I think!

    Asuqi: Frickin' awesome! I'm not sure if I love the main story more, or that "in another present" ending. Love, love, love it. Sci-fi, horror, social commentary, and the element of the bizarre. *this is me wolf-whistling you right now*

    Susan: "One of us fidgets" -- that was a gasp-out-loud moment. Bravo! And what an image of the peacock feather!

  51. Asuqi - that was trippy fun. For some reason, it reminds me a bit of the movie "Brazil" or the crazy waiting room in "Beetlejuice". I agree with Lily that this shows you've got the knack for "bizarro"

    Susan - I love the word "peafowl," and I also love the image of grizzled veterans eating key-lime pie and going through atrocious photographs, let alone the "fidgety" tip-off. Nicely done.

  52. Thanks everyone for their comments, I finally got around to reading the whole thread

    Michael: Agree with Susan really haunting that sticks with you
    <Anthony: Love the switch back at the end hunter becomes hunted
    Chris: I love the description of Duke
    Antonia: Ow my eyes I wasn't expecting that
    Sue H: Vicious I love Vicious

    AJ: Clever how you built it up to be drawn in then the full horror
    Bill: #1 Great story of revenge love the last line "later he would come to call it happiness.
    #2 I so wanted it to continue on and read more
    Lily: I'm morbidly fascinated by the world you created, I keep going back to read it again.
    RS: I love the descriptions in this.
    David: Can't wait for the next installment,I'm intrigued.
    Elspeth: You pulled at my heart strings, I went and hugged my kids after reading it.
    Asuqi:Very unusual and hypnotic, with shades of philip K Dick, I love the unusual
    Susan May James: I love how you reveal the insider is on the Case team, I keep itching my left nipple with a shudder

  53. Asuqi, wow ... what can you say about that?
    Susan May, very clever twist shown with just a few words.

    Lily, how in the name of heaven are you going to judge this week's winner... here it is only Tuesday and look what you have already!

  54. Antonia; I wonder that myself. I'm quaking in my thigh-lengths.

  55. Peacock Feather
    The shrill squawk woke him. He turned in the bed, a peacock's feather slapped against his face, its eye gawking at him. He sat up, snatching the offending iridescent quill from the vase. The ear-piercing screech sounded again, reverberating round his trampled head, hitting him smack between the eyes. He stared at the skinny bitch, clothed in a lime green dress lying next to him. Barb in hand he shot it into her eye, it oozed blood red onto the dress, the acidic green turning in a pleasing brown-like colour. He smiled, satisfied, an eye for an eye.

  56. Hi there Sandie. Welcome to The Feardom.

    A great entry here with Peacock Feather. I enjoyed how we didn't know who or what was squawking followed by the vicious attack of revenge. Loved the final words.

  57. brilliant piece, Sandie, you fit well on Lily's Feardom with ideas like that! Very nasty.

  58. Sandie-I've been looking for a good scary film to watch tonight. Any chance I can just download your mind instead? The way you described the oozing at the end sounded like a Saw version of a L'Oreal hair dye advert. Nicely done.

  59. I don't really know if it's worth bothering with an entry from me this week, to be honest. I think my ideas are blocked with all this snow. The thing I've written at the moment, which follows on from last week's and the week before seems a little...bland...and I doubt I'll come up with anything dark enough.


  60. Amazing at the imagination of everyone!

    This is the first time I've joined in a blog or written anything like this (I usually write tepid mysteries or cosy happy-ending stories). So thanks for comments, I feel inspired to write some more like this now!

  61. Pix, I think it's stronger to hold on to a piece than submit something you're not completely happy with. I've got books worth of those!

    Sandie - glad you entered and that you feel inspired - we'd like to read more.

    Less than three hours until this Prediction closes. Winning piece will be announced before midnight; you lot - you're too good to be true.

  62. I guess so Lily. But an idea literally hit me as I walked out the shower earlier and for that, to add to your hard task of judging...a dark little tale from me.


    The zesty lime scent from her shower gel pricked and aroused my senses as I watched her though the crack of the bathroom door.

    I hid in the shadows, peered at her skinny frame walking into her bedroom. The heat from the shower made her dizzy and my heart fluttered as she stuttered and dropped to the floor.

    I chuckled devilishly, edged forward towards her, taking advantage. I sat astride her, disrobed her and tickled her with the peacock feather.

    She roused. Eyes sprang wide.

    A wry smile formed on my lips; her whisper, so close.

    ‘No dad...Please no...’

  63. Sandy - very descriptive and visceral, yet bright and vibrant at the same time.

    Pixie - this was awfully good at being awfully disturbing. One thing though - you did such an exquisite job setting up a horrifying, dark climax ... but you gave away your ending in the title!!

    Lily - good luck choosing! It's a wonderful problem to have - seeing that it's you who's brought it out of us all. ;)

  64. "I want the full skinny," she said with a lock of hair plastered to her face.

    He gripped the peacock's feathers and mounted. "Not much to say." Lightning flashed. His Adam's apple bobbed as the giant bird stepped to counteract his weight.

    "Blimey lime! You're going to leave?"

    "Differences." His hand paused on the peacock's neck.

    "You bet she's different. Fae make poor lovers."

    "You're one to talk."

    She whitened as if he'd struck her. "It wasn't always so."

    He bit his lip, a moment passed. His voice changed. "I know." He grabbed the reins.

    Droplets washed away her tears.

  65. Chris, that was my fear! I couldn't think of a better title. I feel like crying now... :(

    Thanks for the comments though.

  66. I believe I'm late, but I thought I'd post anyways. I should be on time next week.

    Michael - what a poignant picture you conjure of the peacock.

    Anthony - nice twist; I like the ending.

    Chris - great images, I like Diana's spunk.

    Antonia - I like the voice in this story and it feels slightly keystone cops to me with how he almost blunders out but the way he treats the bird comes back to haunt him.

    Susan - I like the title, and the play on words that you use.

    AJ - truly chilling, I like the idea of trusting cloud.

    Bill - liked the different use of lime in number one; the knife slipping & stained sheets create a vivid image. There seem to be echos of how the two could fit together.

    Lily - I like Chuck's mom's final words as he heads out. Chuck comes across as a richly layered wine; a good one that has been corked.

    RS - Captures theatre backbiting. Loved the screech when the hoop earring is pulled.

    David - Nice start; I want to read the rest.

    William - After hearing about rats in the toilets you've reminded me again and I'll be turning on the light in the bathroom tonight.

    Elspeth - I like how you capture her two competing desires. A part of me is in denial that she actually killed the child.

    Asuqi - I love the image of lime-colored legs and enjoyed this futuristic twist.

    Susan - Nice twist on the sociapath in the police department; liked the details and how much you've squeezed into this.

    Sandie - Chilling character; loved the description of the feather it really brought out the details and made me think of a wood-lacquered room in the bottom of a ship.

    Pixie - dark; I liked the smells and details in the opening.

  67. RS - I love the sleaze oozing from this piece. Some great lines.

    David - A slice of intrigue to stir the juices. We need more...

    William - This simply bubbles with imagery; excellent rendition of the whole piece.

    Elspeth - This is touching and yet there is a dark undertone.

    Asuqi - Great description and imagination. 'Crying peacock tears' is very evocative.

    Susan - Dark and grusome and a hint of coldness coming through to chill the reader.

    Sandie - Another story that oozes dark deeds and a chilling undercurrent. Great last line.

    Pixie - Disturbing story full with intention, and a clever use of the title to maximise ambiguity - the double meaning is chilling. Well done for someone so young.

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  69. Pixie don't worry we all do it with titles. We can write thousands of words and struggle to encapsulate it in a few. Rule of thumb from Hitchcock that I adhere to, give it away in the title while not giving it away in the title.

    Yeah far too easier said than done. But with a twist, they forget the title easily when hit with the pay-off they remember it.


Lily Childs is a writer of horror, esoteric, mystery and chilling fiction.

If you see her dancing outside in a thunder storm - don't try to bring her in. She's safe.