Well done to Sulci Collective for winning last week's challenge (see previous post). Today's words plucked from my battered encyclopaedic dictionary are:
- Doom (honest!)
- Throne
- Intrusive
100 words max, please - flash fiction or poetry using all of the words above. You have all week to enter. Winner will be announced next Friday. Please tweet about your entry, using #fridayflash if possible.
Is it safe to invite you in...?
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His arse firmly entrenched on the throne, he was doomed to die there and in a most uncompromising position. All those cakes and pies went down so effortlessly, he barely noticed what was obvious to those around him. His girth was expanding like an over-proofed Sourdough, was this his fate, to be stuck immobile on the toilet? His office mates were never intrusive, they hadn't checked on him in days. He couldn't reach the phone anyway. Oh the inhumanity of it all.
ReplyDeleteCongrats Sulci Collective :-)
ReplyDeleteMichael - nice use of 'throne', hehe!
Here's mine, now I shall go tweet about it!
The commoner barged into the throne room. He didn’t bother to scrape or bow. His entrance was so intrusive that the king and his servants barely seemed to believe he was there at all, for a few seconds at least.
“Prepare to meet your doom,” he told the king. “An army is gathering as I speak. We will not tolerate this folly anymore. We demand intelligent and capable leaders, and you are no such thing.”
The king rose, and beckoned to his servants, but they hesitated. A change might improve their position, after all.
Michael - nicely done. Eyes a bit bigger than the stomach, huh?
ReplyDeleteJoleen - great story in such a short space. The last bit reminds me slightly of the last GWB administration!
Lily, great words this week - they made me write TWO. This one, and another that keeps up my streak of dangerous, pretty monsters. But here's one to start with:
Ants in my Stnap
Things were looking very odd indeed. My panicked landlord had insisted the demonic fire-ants were "very intrusive", which made no sense at all, as I keep my strainer in with the pots and pans.
Then, there was the word "Mood" that was scrawled everywhere. By the time I'd fought through my damned dyslexia and puzzled out the word was actually "doom", the apartment exploded in a riot of wood and concrete. The ants had gotten into the wiring.
Luckily I was throne clear ... er ... thrown clear.
Welcome back Michael! Glad to see you've brought your inimitable delivery with you. I love this piece, horribly visual. It whirls us around as first we realise what type of throne the character is referring to and then we discover he's not even in the comfort of his own home. Perfect last line.
ReplyDeleteJoleen - not, perhaps as unlikely as it might seem! A clever, and well-written piece.
Chris - two entries. Fabulata! Ants in my Stnap made me laugh out loud, cheeky git. Brilliant. Looking forward to the second piece too.
And I owe your blog a few visits - you're on my desktop at the moment, just waiting!
[Saw Lily's invitation to write some #fridayflash, and this popped into my head. . . ]
ReplyDeleteOh, I got it - "Doom Throne"!
What? Are you kidding? That sounds like, I don't know, a video game or something.
Yeah! That's what makes it perfect!
No, no, no. It has to be something people will remember. "Intrusive" is so much better. We gotta have something dark and scary.
Look, you two - if we don't practice, they aren't even going to let us in the battle of the bands. Eat your pizza already, and let's get going. . .
Hey Bill! Great flash and a really well-written piece of dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI often wonder how bands come up with such crap names. Doom Throne's got to be wuuuuuurgh spit-rage, whilst Intrusive (I quite like that actually) is more sinister goth/emo.
Well, Lily, if you're going to leave the door open for me, here we go. :)
ReplyDeleteQueen of Cats
Nedlin was shoved forward into Feralla's chamber. The guard chuckled maliciously and said, "Good luck. She hates intrusive little pissants like you."
The door slammed behind him. Nedlin saw the Jaguar-Goddess sprawled lazily across her granite throne. She rolled her head to look at him, and Nedlin saw his doom in her eyes. Her beauty struck him mute.
"What is it?" she purred, her tone deadly, long tale twitching menacingly.
Nedlin cringed at the sound of her voice; but he delivered his last message, "I've ... been chosen."
Feralla descended, smiling darkly.
"Don't worry, lamb. I think you'll enjoy this."
Oh Chris - you knew I was waiting. I LOVED this. It's exquisitely inviting and languid. Feral(la) to the extreme. I'm thinkin' Howwwwwwlllllll.....
ReplyDeleteThe fat needed to be cut away they told me. I’m doomed, too obese to live. I’ll never survive in the big bad world. You can’t see the glint of light on metal, or hear the swish of silver cutting the air. It guts me like a medieval torture and leaves my entrails on the floor.
ReplyDeleteI’m slimmer now I guess but I still feel violated. The whole operation was intrusive and cruel.
I’m cleaned up and sent packing to the throne of the kingmaker. The publisher loves the story. But I’ll never forgive the editor for cutting me up.
Bill - great take - sounded like the guys from FUBAR, you nailed the tone perfectly.
ReplyDeleteAnthony - way to give voice to that feeling we all get when our work suffers the dreaded "deep edit."
Lily - thanks for letting me double-dip! Glad you liked it. It actually reminds me that I'd meant to send something to Mr. M C for that particular antho.
Cheers.
wanted to have a go, Lily (dorothyd)
ReplyDeleteNo matter how ambitious Warwick was, he would never claim the throne. How could he? His dreams were shattered when his puppet king stopped being a puppet and became his own person. Had he been too intrusive, had he allowed ambition to overcome common sense? It was too late to find answers. Barnet awaited, the once puppet king had a force of men to equal his own and had marched on Warwick’s army secretively, leading him to contemplate his doom for the first time.
By daybreak it was over, Warwick cut down, the king supreme, ready to fight another day.
Tony, welcome in! Really enjoyed your cut-throat narrative from the perspective of the book itself. Very different, and perfectly executed.
ReplyDeleteAntonia, this week's prediction was crying out for something from you/Dorothy. So much history in 100 words - informative yet explicitly conveyed.
Antonia - I think you just summarized "Pillars of the Earth" in 100 words. Holy $h!* -- which is only to say that you did a fantastic job. :)
ReplyDeleteMother Scarebones’ voice roared across the frozen heath, shaking the earth until she threw up her measly dregs.
ReplyDelete“Stupid bastards. I’ve warned you before – keep your hands off the throne. The Queen will fall when I want her to, and not before.”
Doom glared at Gloom. Gloom spat at Doom. Lunging in bloody assault green teeth tore at the other’s skin as the pair hacked and roiled; a spinning furball bitch-fight. The witch let them rip each other apart with clawed nails before she intervened.
“Fucking familiars. Fucking useless.”
The ground sucked them in. Scarebones damned them back to Hell.
Loved it Lily. That's the biggest problem for witches these days I hear, they just can't find good help!
ReplyDeleteChris, thanks for the nice words! Lily, thanks for the compliment! Enjoyed the challenge, will be back for more, I need that right now!
ReplyDeleteand as for your story ... wow!
Deborah stopped on the threshold. "Don't you think it's intrusive --"
ReplyDeleteThe door creaked. Ember light silhouetted a cackling crone. "Is it safe to invite you in?"
"No need to enter. We're selling..." Deborah trailed off as shades cavorted in the wallpaper.
Terrance finished, "Popcorn for a school fundraiser."
"How horrible." The crone purred. Her ulna and radius thrust into the children's shoulders as she guided them through the door. Orange shadows flickered across paintings of anatomical hearts. She squeezed them into a stone throne. "I'll get tea."
"Doom, honest!" whispered Deborah. Try as they might, they could not stand.
Michael - reminds me of a story of a man stuck in an elevator for a weekend. Worse doom stuck in the toilet.
ReplyDeleteJoleen - nice ending on this piece with the hesitation, it makes it stand out for me.
Chris - the ants in my pants dyslexia made me laugh, nice. Love the images of your monsters.
Bill - nice, picking band names is so difficult.
Anthony - I enjoyed the voice that you've given the book.
Antonia - good description of someones final contemplation of the roots of their doom.
Lily - fantastic sounds (doom, gloom; repetition of fucking) makes this ring
Aidan, this has a perfect Hansel and Gretel menace about it.
ReplyDelete"Her ulna and radius thrust into the children's shoulders..." make me feel particularly uncomfortable - in the right way.
A disturbing write, with provocative description that works really well.
The throne of a mighty civilization sat empty. Its owner long dead and buried. Intrusive and insistent, Mother Nature reclaimed the tumbled walls hiding Doom once again to await the next fool who felt an urge to overcome her.
ReplyDeleteGreat to have you back MRM. Really liked your short but mightily powerful write; I envision a Babylonian jungle, stone soaring heavenwards, hidden by lush greenery. All hail Mother Nature.
ReplyDeleteWow, what talent on here! Tony, loved yours, MRM, how did you do that in so few words? Aidan, such menace! and thanks for the good words, too.
ReplyDeleteLily. What can I say? My time keeping is terrible. In fact, in my last 2 years of high school I got detention every weef for being late 2 days in a row. Well, if you're late on a monday and a tuesday you may as well be late for the rest of the week. HA!
ReplyDeleteHere's my attempt. I'll leave comments on the others later. We've got visitors this weekend.
Two Blokes.
“Where’ve you been?”
“On the throne.”
“Who were you calling,.”
“I said the THRONE. You know when a sneaky fart turns into something more.”
“Yeah, I’ve had that. Hey, I watched that Indian Jones and the Temple Of Doom last night.”
“Well?”
“Well, it was far from a western. For a start there were no cowboys and, come to think of it…..no indians.”
“Your words are intrusive sometimes. They actually hurt going into my ears.
“…”
“It’s called Indiana Jones, not Indian Jones. It’s the bloke’s name. Jesus.”
“Jesus? He wasn’t in it.”
“Give me strength. Two beers please, mate.”
Late's in my blood - so no worries; you've got all week anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteYour Two Blokes knock me out (like the "sneaky fart [that] turns into something more"). Why haven't they been signed up to a Daily? Or even a Weekly? At the very least a Monthly - oh god don't remind me of those.
Excellent, and laugh-out-loud LOL stuff as always.
BTW, I've added a comment to your New Flesh story 'Feeder' at http://newfleshmagazine.blogspot.com/2010/04/black-silhouette-circles-above-deserted.html#comments ;)
Some wonderful tales here this week, Lily, and lots of new 'faces' too!
ReplyDeleteI did intend to comment on each - but it began to sound like one of those awful never-ending speeches at the 'Oscars' - so to all of you: Very well done - I spent a delightful few minutes reading through them all - thankyou for keeping me entertained!
I've been mulling over the three words for this week. Herewith, a wee tale of vengeance....
‘Enthroned in splendour’, he thought as a grin came to his face. He adjusted his position slightly in the tree stand, settling in for the long night, listening to the woodland awaking to its nocturnal pursuits far below him.
He caressed the rifle in his hands almost sensually.
Waiting.
Watching.
Ready for the intrusive invasion of the night hunters: ‘city boys’ out for a weekend of excitement with their new camo-gear and their latest gadgets, wantonly decimating the livestock.
But tonight, the forest would fight back. He smiled and willed them on to their doom; the hunters become his prey.
Sue, you must be psychic - or is that a sidekick? :) Yesterday I awoke with a story about hunting from a tree - in fact I've posted it in a challenge elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteThis is a cold and enticing tale of revenge - or is that not self-defence? I love the anticipation inherent in your words and the satisfaction - warranted or not - that they provoke. Great writing.
Michael S. – Made me chuckle.
ReplyDeleteJoleen – It usually doesn’t I have found. But there is always hope.
Chris A – Can we assume it was a doG who saved you?
Bill O – Had to be the drummer who brought them back to reality. As Lily says – good dialog.
Chris A – Liked this one quite a bit. Very nice.
Antonia W – Packed quite a bit in so few words. Nicely written.
I was actually shooting for exactly 100 words, but after the second sentence, the third just popped into my mind. It seemed wrong to take it any further.
Lily – “Fucking familiars. Fucking useless.” Yes those two especially . Yet we seem to covet them them most. As usual this is one fine piece.
As to mine - I did think of a jungle, but it was one surrounding an Aztec or Mayan kingdom.
AidanF – Very creepy. I liked it.
David – Your two dimwits strike again. Excellent.
Lily - no, I don't believe I'm psychic (some may think me psychotic, tho'!) My wee story was inspired after looking through some photos from my recent trip to Maine - looking through all the guns and camo-gear at the local 'Trading Post' (I'm not convinced all the huntin', shootin' & fishin' gear was entirely for sporting pursuits....!:-o )
ReplyDeleteAnother great round-up of stories this week. Well done Chris for coming up with 2. Too much time on your hands, mate. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing this every week, Lily. It's actually helped me a lot these past few weeks and got me back in the "zone". Thanks!!
What about that "Tales Of The Unexpected" idea???
I'd be very interested if you want to discuss something. My email's on my profile.
Sue H - Odd that hunting tales pop up this time of year........Not. I too just recently wrote some flash about a tree stand, a buck, and well a sad end for the hunter. I like yours better. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, MRM! (ahhhh - have very nice memories of Maine!)
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks to you, too, Lily! Every week you welcome us into your lair, furnishing us with electronic wallspace to pin up our lurid tales!
;-)
MRM - thanks for the kind words - loved the brilliant dark green simplicity of yours
ReplyDeleteSueH - nicely done - in just a few short lines you swayed my allegiance three times!
David - those two blokes have a future somewhere, as Lily suggests. It'd be a hell of a column somewhere! Thanks for your comment on mine. (Didn't seem to have overmuch time but October tends to put my muse on a whiskey bender where it practically sicks up flashfic!)
really enjoyed all the stories on here, keep them coming, people! Something different and always worth reading.
ReplyDeleteThanks for kind comments.