Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Rant and Rage

In an effort to turn negative emotions into literary inspiration I am listing my top three hates to see whether, by some kind of cathartic osmosis, they turn into characters or stories. Not that I'm stuck for ideas, I just need to dispose of these annoyances:
  1. Coathangers. They have lives of their own. They catch on everything, and I hate them. They evoke a ridiculous amount of rage in me and many things have been torn or broken by me as a result. Answer: Anger Management? Never put anything in the wardrobe?
  2. Toilet paper that doesn't tear properly. It means you have to fold it a different way, which results in a completely unsatisfactory wipe of the nether regions. Answer: don't buy Tesco own-brand, which gets thinner by the pack anyway.
  3. People in my space. This particularly relates to OLD PEOPLE IN SUPERMARKET QUEUES. God, they annoy me. Right up my arse, nudging - always nudging me with their trolleys, pushing me forwards into the person in front, catching my clothes on their baskets. Answer: step backwards and tread on their toes. Be prepared to use my elbows. Aaaarrgh - why can't people respect others' space?
That's it. All done now.


  1. I think you need to begin to caress a healthy drinking habit. Life doesn't bother you too much then.

  2. I may already be caressing it too much Lee. Maybe that's the problem! Pass me the Chardonnay someone.


  3. Number three...I actually asked someone, who was trying to crawl up my ass in the check out line, if they wanted to kiss me. It definitely got their attention, even if they thought I was nuts.

  4. I like it Erin! Though I'd be worried some old goat might think I actually meant it.


Lily Childs is a writer of horror, esoteric, mystery and chilling fiction.

If you see her dancing outside in a thunder storm - don't try to bring her in. She's safe.