tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post5576599616872185981..comments2023-12-31T16:30:56.708+00:00Comments on Lily Childs' Feardom: Lily's Friday PredictionLily Childshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861288507716873813noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-21832474346576909912011-06-23T23:03:19.353+01:002011-06-23T23:03:19.353+01:00No more additions - but the rest of my comments!
...No more additions - but the rest of my comments!<br /><br /><b>Antonia</b> There’s a black humour at the bottom of this that makes the experiences that much more real, and thus, terrifying. (The evil bastard in me wants to know if his name’s “Bob”)<br /><br /><b>AJ</b> I love the idea of music floating like granules of dust. The rest of the piece is so viscerally compelling, and the “pulse” works so well to keep us gripped.<br /><br /><b>David</b>I love the idea of someone trying to wheedle a ghost into going to see a hypnotist. That’s clever writing there. You’ve got a great ear for dialogue, and it shows here.<br /><br /><b>Erin</b> “I thought I glimpsed the screams of the late Mr.”… in the blade of the knife?? That’s brilliant. I know I’ve GOT to start working harder when I see description like that.<br /><br /><b>Zaiuregray</b> This is so wonderfully dark, and the balance between the delicate dance and the horrors of the flesh that you promise towards the end is exquisite.<br /> <br /><b>John</b> 1) this just feels so damned polished, I don’t know what to say. So original. Awesome. 2) By Circe!! Love the way the old myths keep being reinvented. It’s why we still have them.<br /> <br /><b>Lily</b> This was worth the wait. This is a slice of life with something to say, and enough deep, piercing imagery to make sure we’ll listen. Loved it.<br /><br /><b>RR</b> You know you can’t just leave this here, don’t you? More please!Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-91770665202069443092011-06-23T21:03:30.354+01:002011-06-23T21:03:30.354+01:00Thank you - I thank you. The Prediction is now clo...Thank you - I thank you. The Prediction is now closed.Lily Childshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15861288507716873813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-67618970031960726672011-06-23T19:18:18.414+01:002011-06-23T19:18:18.414+01:00RR - exciting! Killer last line.RR - exciting! Killer last line.asuqihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05478950013985706858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-89949382229769316502011-06-23T19:13:27.179+01:002011-06-23T19:13:27.179+01:00Last minute comments! Joyous Midsummer, everyone!
...Last minute comments! Joyous Midsummer, everyone!<br /><br />Chris – Scary and intriguing!<br /> <br />AidanF – Wild plot! Horror in the computer era =)<br /><br />Phil - Poetic and scary! I can totally see this happen.<br /><br />Antonia – Chilling. I love the reflecting quality here.<br /> <br />AJ – Oooo, so sick!<br /><br />David – Heee, am I wrong to laugh? So much fun =)<br /><br />Erin – great little story! Unexpected and with a perfect title.<br /><br />Zaiuregrey – Wonderful imagery! Intriguing relationship, I want more!<br /><br />John – Twisted and (yes!) distorted and absolutely wonderful =)<br /><br />Lily – such elegant horror, loved it!asuqihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05478950013985706858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-31784355795050041562011-06-23T17:39:59.873+01:002011-06-23T17:39:59.873+01:00Nina - I want to know what Meredith is, what Damie...<b>Nina</b> - I want to know what Meredith is, what Damien is, why the salt... everything!<br /><br /><b>Sandra</b> - A homocidial Jackson Pollack, with all the colors and confusion. <i>Body Art</i> can be read and re-read without losing potency.<br /><br /><b>Thomas</b> - The sounds make the story here, and the last line nails it.<br /><br /><b>William</b> - <i>Khyams Box</i> is mesmerizing. I could feel myself being pulled in, maybe under. <br /><br /><b>Steven</b> - That was appropriately gross and, despite my better judgment, I want to know the purpose of that ritual.<br /><br /><b>St Force</b> - My greatest nightmare, and the reason I don't have guns in the house, even though I enjoy shooting. Well done.<br /><br /><b>Angel</b> - <i>Forgiveness</i> is powerful, and I love the restrained alliteration.<br /><br /><b>Asuqi</b> - I followed your narrator into the water, and am glad I could not stay. I love the slow tumble into drowning.<br /><br /><b>Chris</b> - I was hoping you would continue that story, and boy did you! I don't feel any better knowing what's in the cage.<br /><br /><b>AidanF</b> - So perfect. It is amazing what we cannot see. It took a moment for me to find the message, and I <i>knew</i> there must be one.<br /><br /><b>Phil</b> - You evoke the quiet and vastness of space, but this could easily be happening on a smaller scale.<br /><br /><b>Antonia</b> - The weight of his resignation pulled at me, and the last line was a tragic reveal.<br /><br /><b>AJ</b> - You create this sickening scene with such lyrical beauty that I find myself drawn in and repulsed at the same time.<br /><br /><b>David</b> - The dialogue gives us a real sense of camaraderie, which makes the twist at the end even better.<br /><br /><b>Erin</b> - Such a storybook feel, but in the wrong colors for a children's story. I like how it breaks off at the end.<br /><br /><b>Zaiuregrey</b> - I found myself wondering if the ballerina is still alive or perhaps only believes herself to be. Beautiful imagery in this.<br /><br /><b>John</b> - Is it wrong that I found myself laughing at Paul in <i>Pig's Ear</i>? Probably, but there it is. Not so, my reaction to <i>Bad Science</i>. The combination of a tedious task with the things it took to create it is chilling.<br /><br /><b>Lily</b> - What a terrible picture you paint! And free has so many meanings here. I'm rather glad I forgot perfume today, or I might feel some guilt.RR Kovarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05165990070862127913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-7035357313009258292011-06-23T15:33:21.180+01:002011-06-23T15:33:21.180+01:00Sliding in under the wire this week! Will comment...Sliding in under the wire this week! Will comment afterward.<br /><br /><b>Independence</b><br /><br />With nothing yet to see, the townsfolk are hypnotized by waiting. <br /><br />Grace is all curves, from the fall of her hair, past her luscious breast, down to her meandering path. She remembers what she learned from them, from me. She chooses a strong, stupid farmboy, and sprinkles the granules. <br /><br />He scratches under his collar as the first float heaves into view, a listing ship in a place that has no water. <br /><br />I decide in that moment the young man should drown on dry land. When I save his life, the town will love me. <br /><br />It is a good beginning.RR Kovarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05165990070862127913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-7432701730327515642011-06-23T12:28:26.821+01:002011-06-23T12:28:26.821+01:00You are all cruel, and wicked - with your exquisit...You are all cruel, and wicked - with your exquisite pennings and wily words. Judge or be judged? Who can say. All I know is, choosing a winner will be an impossible task - but I shall, dammit.<br /><br />I'll have a lot of comments to make after the Prediction doors have closed, but in the meantime - here's my entry:<br /><br /><strong>Up In Smoke: Absolution</strong><br /><br />Scented granules float through the air, freezing like snow before exploding. In the street children stare, hypnotised by the eddying spectacle – a charade game of science.<br /><br />I am holding Lizabetha’s hand when shards slice my sister’s face. They hit my arm. Pieces of glass, green and bubbled – soft words for slivers sharp as blades. Upright fragments stipple my skin by the thousand, making it red. Making it drip. I feel nothing.<br /><br />Women of Bohemia will cry self-indulgent tears at the news; golden vials studded with gems – melted. Gums, resins, oils – gone. <br /><br />Le Parfumier est mort.<br /><br />But the children are free.Lily Childshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15861288507716873813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-13663231039450311422011-06-23T08:23:14.734+01:002011-06-23T08:23:14.734+01:00Nina - Loved the descriptives in this piece
Sandra...<b> Nina</b> - Loved the descriptives in this piece<br /><b>Sandra</b> – I love the word runnels. A stark character that has me intrigued how she might use her human canvas next.<br /><b>Thomas</b> – I love how you captured the dispassion born of tragic loss.<br /><b>Steven</b> – Your piece is captivating in it's fetid glory, I want to know why he does that, more please.<br /><b>St Force</b> – You've really captured the wide eyed horror of innocents playing with fatal consequences, Brilliant. <br /><b>Angel</b> – I love, love, love this. Theres a sculpture called Reconciliation by Josefina de Vasconcellos, we have one of the bronzes made of it in Coventry Cathedral, there's another in Hiroshima. Your words are that. Hope that makes sense. <br /><b>asuqi</b> – A beautiful piece that draws you into it's being.<br /><b>Antonia</b> Shudder! You captured the pain in the bones and the buring of the salt on the wounds<br /><b>Chris</b> – I love the descriptives in your piece, especially "where they floated and swam like bloody fish."<br /><b>Aidan</b> – Very clever plot modern and unique<br /><b>Phil</b> – SO somplex in such few words, I think you have the beginings of an epic voyage here that I would love to read.<br /><b>AJ</b> – I've been itchy all day since reading this, you've got under my skin AJ. (pun unintended)<br /><b>David</b> – The Two Blokes par excellence, really funny and very clever.<br /><b>Erin</b> – Haunting words, that beg for more. I love it<br /><b>zaiuregrey.com</b> - You captured something so tragically Visceral, I took those images to my nightmares last night. Good Job. <br /><b>John</b> – <b>Bad Science:</b>this is leading somewhere and it's only just begun. <b>Pigs Ear:</b> Must admit I was not aware of Circe, now I am, I'd probably drink it too.William Davollhttp://williamdavoll.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-2565110901709804742011-06-21T21:55:44.679+01:002011-06-21T21:55:44.679+01:00Thank you Aidan, AJ, John and Antonia. :)
Nina - ...Thank you Aidan, AJ, John and Antonia. :)<br /><br />Nina - A powerful scene. I like how Meredith struggles with defiance and submission.<br /><br />Sandra – Absolutely chilling. Despite my shudders, I was entranced by the artistic imagery.<br /><br />Thomas – I love how the dialogue tells the story. Great final line.<br /><br />William – I love the imagery of the final line “… his soul billowed in the breeze”.<br /><br />Steven – Horrifying and yet I was captured by the story. I want to know who he is…<br /><br />St Force – Treasure isn’t always what we expect…<br /><br />Angel – Exquisite. I love the first line.<br /><br />asuqi – Beautiful… “I left myself there”<br /><br />Chris – It’s a good thing I don’t like champagne! :) I’m curious what’s going to happen next…<br /><br />Aidan – Very creative, I wouldn’t have thought to do this. I love the secret in the spam… :D<br /><br />Phil – I was definitely transported with your piece. Love the imagery of this journey.<br /><br />Antonia – I wasn’t expecting the final line and gave an appropriate shudder as the image flooded my mind. I hope he does not drift long…<br /><br />AJ – Grisly and chilling. I’m still wincing! I love the line “His finished artwork hypnotized him; deathly indulgent and velvety red”.<br /><br />David – Loved the humor of this piece!<br /><br />Erin – Love the title (naming things is always challenging for me). The black lotus crumbling is an omen of something bad to come… <br /><br />John – Creative and chilling! Loved it! I'm curious about this world where terror can be captured and used...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-89207467935228297482011-06-21T18:24:33.812+01:002011-06-21T18:24:33.812+01:00John, two great entries, the first is intriguing i...John, two great entries, the first is intriguing in the extreme. <br />Zaiure - loved it, it left so many unanswered questions and yet it was all there in the images you conjured.<br />Erin, dark as ever and full of menace.<br />David, cautionary indeed!<br />AJ, dark and sharp as ever. Loved it.<br /><br />It's only Tuesday -look what we concocted between us already, blood guts and murder. In equal proportions...Antonia Woodvillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12594229396805493611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-29586044217967680952011-06-21T15:50:31.681+01:002011-06-21T15:50:31.681+01:00John, I loved both of those well-written pieces - ...John, I loved both of those well-written pieces - witchcraft and herbal concoctions, with twist endings are my kind of tales! Nice titles too.<br /><br />Thanks AJ and AidanF.EChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09359075647077590741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-9446282848396340762011-06-21T15:31:36.641+01:002011-06-21T15:31:36.641+01:00Pig’s Ear
“I’m not sure, Cindy.”
Paul poked the...Pig’s Ear<br /><br /><br />“I’m not sure, Cindy.”<br /><br />Paul poked the greasy foam floating on top of the mug; it was flecked with blackish-green granules. Looking at it made him feel nauseous.<br /><br />“It’s herbal medicine, Paul. Just swallow it quickly.”<br /><br />He looked into her eyes, dark, deep, hypnotic; his mouth went dry, how could he refuse those eyes?<br /><br />He steeled himself, then knocked it back in one go, gagging as the lumpy, viscous liquid went down. He felt strange, dizzy. He dropped to the floor.<br /><br />“I may have lied. My name’s not Cindy. It’s Circe.”<br /><br />Her laughter sounded strange, distorted.John Xerohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17492709629314280633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-2190884144631290522011-06-21T15:30:12.548+01:002011-06-21T15:30:12.548+01:00Bad Science
Cameron stirred the weak amber liqui...Bad Science<br /><br /><br />Cameron stirred the weak amber liquid with a glass rod. He watched the granules going round and round in a tornado-like funnel. It was kind of hypnotic.<br /><br />He began to feel drowsy. No. Keep stirring, stirring, stirring.<br /><br />His arm ached, but the grains would float to the top if he stopped and he never needed to hear <i>those</i> screams again.<br /><br />The liquid was deepening and darkening, slowly, so slowly. If he’d known that Virgin’s Terror took this long to dissolve he would never have used so much. The Wytch Mother always did chide him for his impatience.John Xerohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17492709629314280633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-21068947987262171262011-06-21T15:28:40.760+01:002011-06-21T15:28:40.760+01:00Great entries, physically flinched at one or two.....Great entries, physically flinched at one or two...<br /><br />Nina - Is she just submissive by nature, or are there other powers at work...?<br /><br />Sandra - some great descriptions and yeah, "I scalpel-slashed it as I would a canvas" made me flinch... I felt that one.<br /><br />Thomas - great job weaving something of the set-up into the climax.<br /><br />William - philosophical and dreamy. I love the last line.<br /><br />Steven - that is gross... Good job! Made me feel somewhat ill...<br /><br />St Force - cursed treasure, then...? Powerful.<br /><br />Oh, Angel - each verse is more beautiful than the one before. Wonderful.<br /><br />Asuqi - I can feel the void behind the words. There's a dreamy nihilism to this.<br /><br />Chris - and yet again... I flinch. Made me suck my lips in defensively...<br /><br />Aidan - awesome. Very creative, I love it, and perfect ending.<br /><br />Phil - great piece, intelligent and poetic.<br /><br />Antonia - dark, and despite the machetes I didn't see that last line coming... well-played. =)<br /><br />AJ - stunning blend of beauty and pain, somehow gentle with its cruelty. Love it.<br /><br />David - Ha! A cautionary tale... great punch-line. ;)<br /><br />Erin - rich twisting language, a heady draft, indeed. I love a reworking of a myth or fairytale. =)<br /><br />Zaiure - Hi! =) This is tight, starkly beautiful and menacing at the same time, with a lingering sense of dark intent.<br /><br />Oh wow, I've got two pieces written this week, if you'll indulge me, but the standard is already so incredibly high I'm not sure I can match it. I hope you enjoy them, regardless. ;)John Xerohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17492709629314280633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-69728809657963802302011-06-21T10:07:53.956+01:002011-06-21T10:07:53.956+01:00Nina – Disturbingly dark. I like ‘folded down unt...Nina – Disturbingly dark. I like ‘folded down until my weight rested on my knees’. Good descriptions that bolster a chilling piece.<br /><br />Sandra – ‘Emerging, merging, puddling and overflowing’. Sublime use of assonance. Poetic and punchy.<br /><br />Thomas – Lovely descriptions – I like the way you have structured it, the balance of dialogue and narrative, dialogue, narrative works very well.<br /><br />William – There’s an ethereal feel to this, something deeply mystical which intrigues.<br /><br />Steven – This is grossly wonderful. I want to know more.<br /><br />STF – How often has this scenario happened in real life? You could extend this into a longer piece and allow you to explore your characters.<br /><br />Angel – Perfectly paced poetry and oodles of gorgeous assonance. Loved it.<br /><br />Asuqi – This has a very trance-like feel, effortlessly lulling the reader to its conclusion.<br /><br />Chris – How wonderfully ghoulish. There is more in this – a longer piece for sure.<br /><br />Aiden – A fresh way of storytelling – this made me smile.<br /><br />Phil – I like the gentle descriptions of the fabric of a universe coming together. ‘Stellar plumes to hypnotise distant watchers’ immediately conjured a sense of time, that these distant watchers would have to wait millennia to see that light.<br /><br />Antonia – Lovely descriptions with dark undertones. What a corking last line!<br /><br />David – I like the cold and abrupt delivery of this, it’s straight for the jugular.<br /><br />Erin – You weave poetry within the narrative to create some great imagery.<br /><br />Zaiurgrey – The metaphor here of rice paper upon sharp bones is wonderful; it’s packed with powerful imagery.AllWriteFictionAdvicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03381125356850555606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-88928322483187536512011-06-21T07:25:24.642+01:002011-06-21T07:25:24.642+01:00Such beauty and darkness here these last few days,...Such beauty and darkness here these last few days, and some new Predictioneers too.<br /><br />Forgive my absence; I <em>am</em> reading - I assure you. Time, yet again is not my own at the moment. I hope to comment later but if not most definitely will do at the Thursday/Friday summary stage.Lily Childshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15861288507716873813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-55870590653002275432011-06-21T04:32:37.727+01:002011-06-21T04:32:37.727+01:00Phil: I get two readings from this, one is a big b...<strong>Phil</strong>: I get two readings from this, one is a big bang, and the other a more direct reading of someone's conciousness spreading out and infecting everything it touches. An idea expanding outwards sometimes finding a fertile place to lie and other times... lying in wait.<br /><br /><strong>Antonia</strong>: a dark twist; one has to know when to speak one's mind and when to hold one's peace. You brought me solidly into your world.<br /><br /><strong>AJ</strong>: stark, stunning visuals, like the way this pulses and opens up.<br /><br /><strong>David</strong>: I've got to wonder if he drowned trying to save his hypnotized friend. Nice dialogue.<br /><br /><strong>Erin</strong>: nice poetic tinge to this; I like the dreams of black lotus.<br /><br /><strong>Zaiure</strong>: you capture some beautiful details in this piece. I like the subtle way I'm left wondering who left the scars and the bloody ribbons.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-29194287904216257302011-06-21T02:41:30.350+01:002011-06-21T02:41:30.350+01:00The Ballerina
Bloody ribbons, glistening wetly, w...The Ballerina<br /><br />Bloody ribbons, glistening wetly, wove down her pale cheek as she executed a flawless pirouette.<br /><br />"Exquisite," the Marquee cooed, inclining his head at the emaciated ballerina. The alabaster skin seemed little more than rice paper upon the sharp bones of her frame, visible beneath the black tatters of her costume. "See how she floats."<br /><br />The ballerina performed another flawless turn, this time with arm outstretched towards the audience, granules of some glittery substance falling from her reddened fingers. The scars on her wrists caught the light. The crowd drew a collective breath.<br /><br />The Marque chuckled, low and dark. "My little hypnotist."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-10615645550133813312011-06-20T21:30:44.599+01:002011-06-20T21:30:44.599+01:00Finally done with some big edits and ready to play...Finally done with some big edits and ready to play again!<br /><br /><strong>Nina</strong>, so dark, chilling, and just plain excellent.<br /><br /><strong>Sandra</strong>, a lyrical absorption of fine prose. Love all the color and senses in this.<br /><br /><strong>Thomas</strong>, terrifying, with just the right amount of description and narrative.<br /><br /><strong>William</strong>, beautiful with a grand end.<br /><br /><strong>Steven</strong>, quite disturbing, and yet I’m curious for more.<br /><br /><strong>St. Force</strong>, buried treasure with a goldmine of secrets! Great finish.<br /><br /><strong>Angel</strong>, it never fails that I reread your prose multiple times, always so much to absorb and enjoy.<br /><br /><strong>Asuqi</strong>, this unusual gem is full of great visual and a subtle struggle of letting go, almost as if it already happened.<br /><br /><strong>Chris</strong>, you’ve gone back to the dark side and I like the creepy scenes that have emerged from your shadows.<br /><br /><strong>Phil</strong>, I always enjoy ‘galactic’ pieces and this one shines bright.<br /><br /><strong>Antonia</strong>, my God the end of that swept me to the bottom of that sea!<br /><br /><strong>AJ</strong>, you executed “Palette” with beautiful language and precision. Nice work.<br /><br /><strong>David</strong>, that’s definitely a new visual to ‘under the influence.’ I would never trust a hypnotist, especially now.<br /><br />And now my piece:<br /><br /><strong>The Man with Blue in His Beard</strong><br /><br />It grew overnight, a black lotus. I cut the hearty stem, rough from the granules of gloom and the light of a deformed moon. It floated like a dream on my pillow.<br /><br />At the paling of an October dawn, his footsteps clapped, a thundering wicked dance in my heart—hypnotist of foreseeable doom.<br /><br />The black lotus crumbled from the force of his pitch at my feet. Thorn slashed skin, sickly taunting me with nightmare.<br /><br />“Where did you find this?” He bellowed.<br /><br />My suspicions confirmed. He drew a long blade. I thought I glimpsed the screams of the late Mrs.EChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09359075647077590741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-31800978054828072662011-06-19T19:56:22.427+01:002011-06-19T19:56:22.427+01:00I'll be back to comment later. In the meantim...I'll be back to comment later. In the meantime, here's one I made earlier...<br /><br /><b><i>Under The Influence</i></b><br /><br />“A what?”<br /><br />“A hypnotist.”<br /><br />“No way.”<br /><br />“Oh, it’ll be a laugh.”<br /><br />“NO! Not after last time.”<br /><br />“What?”<br /><br />“Don’t you remember?”<br /><br />“No. What? When? Come on, tell me.”<br /><br />“No.”<br /><br />“Aw, come on.”<br /><br />“OK. You got called up on stage and, well he had everyone crawling around, eating granules of salt off the floor like you were some kind of pig, or something.”<br /><br />“Ha.”<br /><br />“Not funny. On the way home, you thought you’d float if you jumped into the canal. You were still under his influence and…..”<br /><br />“What happened?”<br /><br />“Well…..”<br /><br />“Well, what?”<br /><br />“Well, that’s why you’re dead!” <br /><br />"..."<br /><br /><b><i>~End~</i></b>David Barberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05006533626998905560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-22664093173809042632011-06-19T18:17:28.111+01:002011-06-19T18:17:28.111+01:00I'm posting this as a test...because I've ...I'm posting this as a test...because I've finally found a way to access your blog, Lily. If this will post...I shall be back...Katherine Moriartyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16906656050961262255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-67737841763776005932011-06-19T17:59:37.896+01:002011-06-19T17:59:37.896+01:00Well done Reba for winning last week! Excellent en...Well done Reba for winning last week! Excellent entries.<br /><br /><br /><b>Palette</b><br /><br />The soothing sound seeped through the hallway; ambient musical strings floated like granules of dust caught in a beam of light.<br /><br />Pulsing.<br /><br />Hackett eased back in his chair, smoked his cigarette. Cool cerulean tendrils stroked his face as he listened to Rachmaninov’s dulcet concerto No 2.<br /><br />His finished artwork hypnotised him; deathly indulgent and deep velvety red. She was beautiful now he’d skinned her, peeled and pruned and...<br /><br />Pulsing.<br /><br />Weeping strange colours and glistening beneath the dull light, she was tremulous, drowning in her fear and pain.<br /><br />Her palette fascinated him. He exhaled; carved a path through the smoke.<br /> <br />Smiled.AllWriteFictionAdvicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03381125356850555606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-43096932820761315042011-06-19T15:56:31.437+01:002011-06-19T15:56:31.437+01:00Asuqi, the eyes haunt me still.
Aidan, innovative ...Asuqi, the eyes haunt me still.<br />Aidan, innovative and compelling!<br />Phil, outstanding! <br />Chris, I love the imagery here.<br /><br />Ok, here goes... my entry for the week, which came very suddenly in the middle of writing an email, no less...<br /><br />Man Overboard<br /><br />He floated with eyes shut, sun burning his face, seagull cries hypnotically resounding across the murmuring sea. How long before he sank and became one with the granules on the seabed? Did it matter? Not any more. At least the pain had gone, numbed by the coldness of water which would sustain him just so long.<br /> Fool, he told himself, to argue with those who had the machetes, who craved the food and water he would have consumed, who resented his place in the lifeboat. <br /> The sooner this was over the better. A man cannot live without limbs.Antonia Woodvillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12594229396805493611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-20004712207534946332011-06-19T14:03:12.436+01:002011-06-19T14:03:12.436+01:00Nina is this rape or S & M? Something is going...<b>Nina</b> is this rape or S & M? Something is going horribly wrong either way - well plotted! (Glad to see you here!)<br /><br /><b>Sandra</b> this is so lush, I want more - is she flaying off a tattoo, or are ALL the colours her doing? <br /><br /><b>Thomas</b> the dialogue sets a breakneck pace for this tale of revenge. Great writing.<br /><br /><b>William</b> this is excellent - I love how fluidly the teller becomes the story. Great description. "Tsunami of the soul." <i>Cool.</i><br /><br /><b>Stephen</b> Ghoulish. Literally. But your presentation practically normalizes his behaviour. It's great writing that does that.<br /><br /><b>St. Force</b> Horribly realistic ending to a well-told tale of youth. The dialogue-only in the 2nd half amps up the tension until the awful payoff. Great work.<br /><br /><b>Angel</b> "the need to float". I love this idea. It encapsulates so much, so quickly. (But that's always been a particular strength of yours.) Excellent, excellent work.<br /><br /><b>asuqi</b> Sucked me in as neatly as your narrator was. This was just plain cool. The ending "completes" the feeling of the piece, which makes the whole thing richer.<br /><br /><b>Aidan</b> Great use of the formatting. Twitters & Drabbles... like peas & carrots. Nice well rounded plot here.<br /><br /><b>Phil</b> This is a fantastic concept. I particularly like the idea of some particles "resting" - and the anticipation of what they might become.Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7536979460489400599.post-62880287543387284702011-06-19T10:18:39.967+01:002011-06-19T10:18:39.967+01:00Evolution
He disintegrated. His essence scattered...Evolution<br /><br />He disintegrated. His essence scattered across the universe, the granules of his corporeal existence floating on cosmic winds into the frozen emptiness of space. <br /><br />He drifted for millennia, existing as tiny particles, independent yet connected, conscious of each other’s voyage. And as they travelled they grew, teasing raw materials from the ether, constantly expanding, drawing energies around themselves like pearls growing from grains of sand.<br /><br />Some grew hot and bulbous, spewing forth stellar plumes to hypnotise distant watchers with their beauty whilst others rested, cooling in the darkness to contemplate their future evolution.Phil Amblerhttp://phlambler.blogspot.com/?zx=9cc0cfd681f71500noreply@blogger.com